Wednesday, December 27, 2006

About Me

Who am I? I awoke very early this morning pondering that loaded question.

In this crazy world of blogging, what do I want to say “About Me?” To address this seems both humbling and grandiose. It is impossibly difficult and incredibly simple. My first notion is, “I am no one,” quickly followed by the next thought, “I am an amazing, complex woman that words cannot begin to describe.” The truth is: I am both. This is the tension I live with these days. Faith is a huge part of my life and demonstrates this phenomenon well, because my faith is strong and it is weak. “Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.” It seems that the more I learn about anything, the less I realize I actually know. The closer I come to knowing myself, the more I find there is to discover.

So, what about me? I am a mother, a wife, a sister, an orphan, a friend, a lover of God, a reforming Fundamentalist, a spiritual seeker, a lover of big yellow dogs and all kinds of nature, a fan of cozy beds and warm fires. I am a middle-aged woman with the heart of a child. I am a romantic and I am very practical. I love to cook and I hate to go to the grocery store. I want my house clean, but rarely enjoy the act of cleaning. I am a trained counselor and I regularly seek personal counseling. I want to experience God outside the box and I love old traditions. I grew up in the Bible Belt (Oklahoma) and now live in the "most un-churched city in the country" (Seattle).

I hate that we must suffer so much in the world AND I know that suffering has made me who I am today. I love music of all kinds. I do not have a great singing voice, but I have long dreamed of being a doo-wap girl. I’m not a talented dancer, but I love to move. I am not a natural athlete, but manage to stay in reasonable shape. I love new experiences (like my recent forays into backpacking, graduate school and skydiving). I love books (see sidebar of 2006 reads) and movies ranging from the romantic to the contemplative. I don't have regular/cable television, but am a closet viewer. I watch “Grey’s Anatomy,” “Gilmore Girls” and “24” when they come out on DVD and an occasional “Oprah” when I get the chance.

I am too conservative for the liberals and too liberal for the conservatives. I am passionate and I am shy. I LOVE to laugh until tears stream down my face. Anne Lamott calls laughter “carbonated holiness” and I agree wholeheartedly. I love to play with friends and I adore my quiet time and solitude. I love to write but am not quite comfortable calling myself a writer. I am on a journey. If you look closely throughout this site, you will find glimpses of me, along with my friends, family and places I love. It is a scary venture to share what comes from the heart, nevertheless, I am called to take the leap and share my words. I hope you will join me!

"lovely, kind and FREE!" photo by bill hughlett


Abbey of the Arts said...

Hi Lucy, Thanks so much for pointing me to your blog filled with gorgeous images (are those yours?) and very beautiful, reflective words that really wrestle with the realities of the world, evocative poems. And humor too, loved your coffee confession. I gave up coffee because of stomach problems, took up Irish black tea for a while which I loved, then gave that up for migraines which I discovered caffeine causes. Thanks for sharing some of your creative musings! Powerful stuff. Blessings, Christine

Anonymous said...

There is much in our stories that is similar, and much I find in your descriptions here that I resonate with. The web can be a wonderful place when like-hearted souls may share in each other's journeys, if only via a blog. That is the best of this "crazy world of blogging."

Keep writing. I'll keep reading.

Kayce aka lucy said...

antony-- it seems both odd and comforting to know that my words resonate with another person. we are all so uniquely created but so intricately interwoven at the same time. (there's that paradox again :-)

thank you for reading and responding!


Anonymous said...

I'm with you, I'm with you! :-)
Thank you for this lovely dance of words that invite us to dance with you in our hearts - and to dance with our own beautifully rich and complex selves. A gift!


Kayce aka lucy said...

thank you, story midwife. i love your imagery of the dance. let's all dance together into the coming new year!

wendybirde said...

I really love where you are from, and it finds such resonance too. I cant count how many times I've thought "I am too conservative for the liberals and too liberal for the conservatives", lol, and its all too true.

But my favorite thing here, what touched the deepest, was this: "I hate that we must suffer so much in the world AND I know that suffering has made me who I am today."

I too will keep reading if you keep writing...

Blessed Week : ) Wendy

Kayce aka lucy said...

thank you, wendy. i am taken by your willingness to plod through my site on what i believe is a first visit.

i continue to wonder at God's amazing paradox--the fullness of life and joy that come from suffering well. that seems so strange to even put into words yet my whole being believes it to be true.

storyteller said...

Ah ... kindred spirit! I am so glad you noticed my comment on Hearth Talks and took the time to check my new Small Reflections blog, leaving a comment which in turn led me here. I'm wondering if you also clicked on Sacred Ruminations where I've begun Carla's Sacred Life journey?

I started watching Gilmore Girls when a friend loaned me her DVDs & was hooked instantly. I watch Grey's Anatomy & an occasional Oprah but haven't checked out 24. I much prefer reading to television and movies.

I look forward to catching up with everything you've written here (though I suspect it will take me a while to read 3 years worth of posts) for what I've read so far resonates giving me goosebumps from head to toe. I shall savor your words over time.

Blessings to you & yours and thank you for sharing so eloquently. I'll be back soon for more.

Kayce aka lucy said...

so glad to have you here. thank you for your own eloquent and gracious words!

daringtowrite said...

Hello Lucy ~ I'm so pleased to meet you and take a stroll through your blogs (soon to be linked to mine).

Kayce aka lucy said...

nice to meet you too, wenda! i am always curious about how people find me if you care to share :-)

Anonymous said...

Hi Lucy -

I'm here from Tess's blog and wanted to say there's a book I've been meaning to read by Sue Monk Kidd titled "The Dance of the Dissident Daughter" that may echo the journey of some of us from more rigid religious traditions (or more rigid than traditional) to a broader past-understanding of God's immensity.

Hope it's at the library!

lucy said...

hi barbara anne-
thanks for stopping by. i think i could have written that book. i absolutely loved it and hope you do too!

speculator said...

Really glad to find your blog! -and will be glad to read more.

Here's what I've been doing in my corner of the blogosphere: