I Believe in You. Do you?

“I don’t precisely know what you need to do to take care of yourself. But I know you can figure it out.” Melody Beattie

Have I told you lately how much I value and support self-care in the world? Or that I believe living life to the fullest is perhaps the one true mission we have in life? If you can begin to value and accept these two premises, then I promise your life will begin to transform in ways beyond your wildest imagination. Last week after I wrote about 10 Lessons Learned (& Affirmed), one of my friends and colleagues declared that post “an Essential Self Care Tool in itself.” There it was in a nutshell—my two passions... self-care and living life fully—all rolled up into their own manifesto for daily living.

1. Follow your heart.
2. Be open to whatever shows up.
3. Put on your sassy and Play, Play, Play!
4. Make essential space for connecting with friends and loved ones – the rest will follow.
5. We are all teachers and there are lessons to be learned in everything. Pay attention.
6. Self-care is the best way to restore, rejuvenate, and prepare to offer our gifts (and love) back out to the world.
7. Re-entry (each day or after time away) can be challenging.
8. “What’s next?” takes us out of the present moment and launches us into the future. All we have is now.
9. Have an assembled toolbox of nourishing notions nearby at all times and use it! (I imagine mine is like Mary Poppins carpetbag, filled with magical delights and the perfect thing manifesting at exactly the right moment.)
10. Sometimes it takes a full arsenal (or the whole bag) to feel relief, but with time relief will come.

Since one of my callings is to spread the message of soul nourishment throughout the world, the Universe has conspired to help me out. Yesterday, Melody Beattie’s thoughts on self-care appeared on my pathway. Here’s what she has to say:

• Rest when you’re tired.
• Take a drink of cold water when you’re thirsty.
• Call a friend when you’re lonely.
• Ask God to help when you feel overwhelmed.

Many of us are afraid the work won’t get done if we rest when we’re tired. The work will get done; it will be done better than work that emerges from tiredness of soul and spirit. Nurtured, nourished people who love themselves and care for themselves, are the delight of the Universe. They are well-timed, efficient, and Divinely led."

I don’t know about you, but I love the feeling of being well-timed, efficient, and Divinely led. How wonderful to know that it can begin with a simple step of showing up and following your own heart! I’d love to know what self-care and soul nourishment look like for you, so please feel free to share in the comment section.

If you’re a little iffy on how to define personal self-care or you think it sounds good for everyone, but you... because you don’t have time... I invite you to check out my online course Live it to Give it: essential practices of soul nourishment and self-care. Class begins Monday, April 16. There are just a few spots left. Does one have your name on it?

And Remember... Figure out what soul nourishment practices work for you and the world will express its gratitude in abundance!!

10 Lessons Learned (& Affirmed) While Living Life

Hello, Love. I know I’ve been away for a while and I always miss you when I’m gone. Today, I’ve been reflecting on where I’ve been these past few weeks and what I learned (& affirmed) along the way. What bubbled up were 10 Lessons that I'd love to share with you.

Since we were last together here, I followed my heart’s calling and sailed high above the Arizona desert, experiencing the peaceful wordlessness of a sunrise hot air balloon ride. There I released floating dreams on behalf of myself and others (you, perhaps?) while sharing in the majestic silence with old and new friends. It was an experience potentially missed if a sprout of fearful discomfort had become overgrown. I’ve discovered the importance of learning to differentiate between fear and exhilaration. Fear holds us back. Exhilaration lifts us higher. When your heart sings YES, you can trust it’s moving in the right direction... even when it seems a little scary. Lesson #1 – Follow your heart.

Following the early morning balloon ride, 300+ of my cohorts gathered in Phoenix where I was able to explore the beauty and dissonance of life together as one big family. While we are all profoundly connected in unnamable ways, we don’t necessarily click with every person in the room (kind of like a real family). Expectations aren’t always met and sometimes they are exceeded when connection greets us in the most unexpected places and ways. Lesson # 2 – Be open to whatever shows up.

A highlight of the time in Phoenix was when my alter ego, “Sassy Girl,” sashayed onto the scene and whooped it up with fellow Sassy Cats during an evening of Cabaret. Our giggles and laughter resounded like a babbling brook after a refreshing spring downpour. Even “grown ups” have an amazing capacity and desire to pull out the over-the-top duds and play dress-up. Lesson # 3 – Put on your sassy and play, play, play!

Upon returning home, I hunkered down and added the final touches to my recent workshop, Exploring Archetypal Energies through the Expressive Arts. Simultaneously, I made space for some additional playtime with out-of-town guests and my sweet hubby as we became tourists in our own town. Lesson #4 – Make essential space for connecting with friends and loved ones, the rest will follow. (Refer to Lesson #1.)

Ready or not, off I went to St. Andrew’s House on the Hood Canal for a magical time of retreat and awakening. Surrounded by 10 amazing women and my fabulous co-facilitator, Christine, I was reminded of Lesson #5 - We are all teachers and there are lessons to be learned in everything. The bonus of being a group facilitator is that I am blessed with learning from the wisdom of other’s life explorations. During our retreat together, we danced, created art, read poetry, got quiet, and dug deep. The mountains peeked through the mist and the sun made a guest appearance as we walked the labyrinth. The moon did her dance alongside 10 royal queens who proudly stepped into their personal sovereignty.

My re-entry time has included snuggle time with golden kitty, Aslan, a delicious massage, fine wine and the darkest of delectable chocolates. I am, after all, a widely-proclaimed, self-care practitioner. Lesson/Affirmation #6 – Self-care is the best way to restore, rejuvenate and prepare to offer our gifts back out to the world!

And lest one might think that life is always easy and full of light, Lesson #7 arrives: Re-entry can be challenging! Somehow, I often manage to get blind-sided by that one! With all of these glorious adventures and soul nourishment, I was a bit annoyed to find myself overwhelmed and uptight as I looked at my week ahead... not to mention the Big Question: “What’s next for me?”

Lesson #8 – 'What’s next?' takes us out of the present and into the future. The question What's next? has a powerful ability to pop me into high alert mode if I’m not careful. If it’s too far in the future, What’s next? sends me spinning like a top (and I don’t mean the fun, colorful kind.) So, when the spin feels out-of-control, it’s time to pause and get off. (Easier said than done, I know.) Fortunately, Lesson #9 is available. Have a previously assembled tool box nearby at all times and use it! and remember this...

Lesson #10 – Sometimes it takes a full arsenal to pry yourself out of the spinning top, but with time, the spinning will stop!


This time my tools included...
1) Getting quiet... although today the noise increased.
2) Get something done (anything)... alas, confronting my to-do list raised the anxiety.
3) Distract myself... choose your distractions carefully – email and Facebook kept me spinning this go 'round.
4) Bring presence to someone else... helping someone else feel good feels really great! (However, please keep in mind Lesson #6 re: self-care.)
5) Name my stuff... “I’m overwhelmed and out of control” (even saying it begins to slow the spin.)
6) Take a walk (Move!)... feeling the ground beneath my feet is... well... grounding.
7) Witness the beauty everywhere... notice the sun on my face, blooming daffodils, a curious chickadee, warm java, a neighbor’s smile. Ahhhh.
8) Come back to the basics... Breathe.
9) Write and reflect... (This is my favorite ritual... What’s yours?)
10) Share your ritual with someone... Today I'm sharing with you, Love. Yes, You!

So that’s where I’ve been and a few things I’ve learned in the last weeks. How about you? I’d love to know where you go when the world spins out of control. What are your favorite life lessons? Do share, pretty please. A person can never have too many tools!

Brain Washed

Yesterday while attending a brilliant writing retreat, we were given a prompt by the charming Patti Digh that went something like this: In five minutes your brain will be erased, what do you want to remember? As you might imagine an interesting flow opened up. As I sat down this morning, I didn’t particularly intend to share my list, however, it seems important for me (not necessarily you – sorry, dear reader, but I am writing for me). My inner muse says, “Write this down and capture it again.” So here goes, remember this, lucy:

Sun on my skin; the kiss of my husband; hugs of my children; the Sinai Desert; Paris; Ireland; God; ineffable moments; Curry’s breath; Aslan’s purr; knowing my truth; feeling the love of God; the drop of the skydive; the ocean on my skin; sand in my toes; Bermuda blue; humidity in Oklahoma; Egyptian mosquito bites; climbing Sinai; my children being born; the heartache of arrest & addiction; jammy days and Gilmore girls; Soltura Island; the Big Dipper; falling stars; freedom; strength in my body; the love of being seen; bees in the desert; satisfaction of a job well-done; comfort of a cozy bed; that my parents loved me; my sister’s unconditional love; seeing and being seen; the smell of rosemary; the weight of heartache; the swing of the pendulum

Undoubtedly there are things I’ve missed or left out - we had only five minutes, you know? Nonetheless, as I expanded further on these thoughts in another free write, my finishing words became:

If this is what I could remember, it would be enough… more than enough.

Your turn… In five minutes your brain will be erased, what do you want to remember? What would be enough?

Becoming Rooted at Home

“Only if one is rooted at home in one’s own self…is one able to move forward, to open up new boundaries, both interior and exterior.” -- Esther De Waal

My natural progression toward adulthood focused on finding ways to “put down roots”, mainly in order to fit the mold of “grown-up” by the world’s standards. Simultaneously, I battled with myself and defiantly declared in the words of Peter Pan, “I don't wanna grow up!”

Do those battle grounds feel familiar? Are you as De Waal says “rooted at home in (your) own self”? Or have you stopped moving long enough to ask yourself the question? Perhaps you live on automatic pilot, not remembering you have choices in how you choose to live your life.

Personally, I forgot about my choices and scooted through life after firmly pushing the auto-pilot button. Life looked good and it appeared that I had roots. In effect, however, the roots were fairly shallow and began to pull loose from the weight of a heavy heart.

Somewhere along the path toward adulthood, I forgot how to play and be spontaneous. I seemed to be living someone else’s life. I had lost my way home to the heart of who I was created to be. Don’t get me wrong. Life was pretty good. Great spouse. Beautiful kids. Nice house. Plenty of food on the table. Nonetheless, I’d get the occasional twinge of longing when watching a movie or reading a great book that seemed to highlight a richness I was personally missing. There came a point where I knew something needed to change. Complacency had to be pushed aside. My own roots were begging to dig deeper.

Believe me, it was no simple fix and the journey is ongoing. However, today, as I read De Waal’s words, I know I have moved closer to “home." The movement has come through increased awareness and by pushing both interior and exterior boundaries. Throughout my ongoing process, I have discovered many keys to help unlock the complexity of who I am, and witness the treasure inside. It has become my passion to share with others who may feel what I have felt – stuck, lost, or in need of a reminder that life is meant to be lived and not merely endured.

Whether on a spiritual journey or a quest for greater peace or joy in life, it is important to find the key that fits your lock. Heightening awareness of those places where you feel stuck and the places of connection and joy is a wonderful framework for moving forward. I have found that I can only effectively communicate what I have experienced myself. Much of that is what I attempt to share in this space. Additionally, I created Serious Soul Play aka Returning Home to Yourself, a day retreat using some of the most effective tools I know. These experiential techniques include story, art, contemplative time, music, movement and play – all gently guided as you listen to the wisdom you hold for yourself.

By fostering a safe and welcoming environment, I offer this space to be as serious or as playful as your heart desires. You hold the key to your inner wisdom. Is it time for you to dust off your keys and shine them up? Are you longing for some time for yourself? Do you yearn to remember what it’s like to play?

2010 purports to be a year of abundance and going with the flow ☺. My creative juices are stirring and I’d love to share with a broader audience. For those of you around the globe, please let me know if you’d be interested in an online version of Serious Soul Play aka Returning Home to Yourself.

If local (Seattle and surrounding area), I encourage you to join me on Saturday February 6 for this unique day retreat. Register by Monday January 18 for only $75 (20%+ discount off the suggested enrollment.) To register and for further details click here.

Blessings!

photos © h3images

New SoulCollage® Workshop

Please join me on Friday, November 20 from 6:30 - 9:30 p.m. to celebrate the abundance of Fall by creating your own SoulCollage® cards.

Beginners and experienced collagers are welcome at this three-hour workshop. All supplies and instruction will be provided in a relaxed and fun atmosphere.

Workshop held at Soma Yoga in Crown Hill. Pre-registration cost is $35. ($40 - night of the event.) Space is limited, so register today. For questions or to sign up, please e-mail kayce@kaycehughlett.com.

Feel free to pass this information along to anyone who might be interested.

SoulCollage® is the process, developed by Seena B. Frost, of creating a deck of collaged cards from found images for the primary purpose of self-exploration and self-acceptance.

Some things I love about the SoulCollage® process include:

• the premise of everyone is an artist. We can all tear or cut images and apply a gluestick, right?
• a way to move beyond words and connect with ourselves in new and creative ways.
• you are in control of the process. Gentle guidelines are suggested, but do not become rules of engagement.
• no special skills or knowledge required (i.e. everyone can participate.)

You can visit the official SoulCollage® website here.

Sacred Sunday: Walkin' on Sunshine

I love Sunday mornings. Lingering. Journaling. Taking time and space for me to see what rises up. Images - visual and written stir through my mind. The past week gone. The next not yet here. I sit in the sacred present. Only now.

Candlelight and gentle music. Fan blowing. Family sleeping. Coffee, hot and warm by my side. “Live with Passion.” Yes. Choose life. Choose me. Images call my name. Some already gathered. The girl in the pink sweater. She beckoned to me while I was preparing for my workshop. She was mine. Held in space until just the right time.

“Walkin’ on Sunshine.” My day yesterday. My life now. Inseparable from the universe. One moment folds into the next. Grounded. Whole. Light and airy. Held by the hand of God. The hands of my father. My ancestors.

Walking towards Ireland. Walking toward myself. I hold on and I move forward. With trepidation, not fear. Quivering, undulating movement. The pendulum of my grounded heart swings. The souls (soles) of my feet dance and move and walk on sunshine… with sunshine… through sunshine.

I am sunshine. Lucy of the light. Illuminated and free. My passion glowing and growing for others to see. I am Norah – the one of compassion. And Lil – life’s beauty. They surround me. Bold and emboldened.

The past and present collide and unite with the girl in the pink sweater. Head tossed back and laughing with glee. Trusting. Trusted. Held. Safe in the arms of my father and my mother. Grounded. They offered so much. Did their best. Healed me. Broke me. Made me.

Skipping and dancing, I share my light. My unique image of God. Belly full. Day arising. Lovely. Beautiful. Creating and created.

Sign me up!!!

Come experience Serious Soul Play

“A little child shall lead them.” Isaiah 11:6

“Maturity means reacquiring the seriousness one had as a child at play." -- Nietzsche

October 3, 2009. 9:15 a.m. - 3:00 p.m. In this workshop, we will explore the heart of your playful inner child through gentle expressive arts, music, story and meditation. Consideration will be given to potential blocks that hinder living your most authentic life. Be prepared to listen to your own inner wisdom while experiencing the places that connect most deeply with God and your world.

Created and facilitated by Kayce S. Hughlett. Offered through St. Placid Priory, Lacey, Washington.

Limited space available. Register by Friday, September 26. Cost $60. Please bring a sack lunch & your journal.

Questions? E-mail kayce@kaycehughlett.com.

For registration information, please e-mail The Spirituality Center, or call 360-438-2595 at St. Placid Priory. Reference: "Returning Home to Yourself"

Weekend & Workshop Update

“When we care, we feel the bite of both success and failure deep in our bones.” Sam M. Intrator & Megan Scribner

This past weekend was a wild one. My birthday was on Friday and I must say it was an absolutely glorious day. The weather was perfectly stunning and everything fell into place with little surprises along the way.

Saturday was the “dress rehearsal” for my newly created workshop/day retreat. As you may know, I have been so excited I could hardly stand it and have been creating with wild abandon and praying for the women who would participate, as well as myself. Little did I know how participatory I would be.

No matter how many times I do facilitation, I always seem to forget how impacted I will personally be. I mean, I KNOW I will be impacted and still, some little part of me puts it out of my mind. I think it's a safety valve of my own internal making since the impact of which I speak often comes in the form of shadow work - those little things that hide in the shadows – both the sides of us we wish would come to the surface more often and also those pesky ones we would like to keep their opinions to themselves. This time, the painful shadows reared their ugly heads telling me: "I am not good enough – never good enough," etc. etc.

It has taken me almost 48 hours to come to the conclusion that the “dress rehearsal” was a huge success. It went just as it should with areas of perfection, wonder and grace coupled with clunky spots that are rough around the edges and need fine-tuning. When things were clicking, I could totally feel it, and when the timing was off or the participants seemed less engaged, I was aware of that too. The evaluations were quite reflective of my own experience, so I have to wonder why I felt so naked and exposed when everything wasn’t absolutely “perfect.” I went in saying to myself, “It will not be helpful if they don’t offer good feedback.” I wanted honest and realistic input. I want to grow. I want to improve. That’s why I offered a “rehearsal” in the first place….AND that’s where the beginning quote hit me hard with realization when I read it last night.

It was NOT just a rehearsal to me. The women were real and their experience mattered to me as much as I hope it mattered to them. I CARE about what I do and in large part what I DO is who I AM. Not in the “I am defined by my work” kind of way, but in the way that says, “my work is my PASSION and my passion is ME.” So, I feel both perceived success and failure deeply.

It all rolls around in there together and gets a little messy, so yesterday I let myself feel what I needed to feel. I couldn’t muster up the words to say what I knew others wanted to hear (i.e. "It was great!!") I did a lot of writing to process and as I was sorting through my supplies, images began to stand out to me to create my own collage. The end result speaks to me of intertwined shadow and light, the balance of caring for myself while caring for others, the nakedness of putting myself out there and a few dozen other things ☺. (I would have posted it here, but my scanner decided to go on strike.)

Over time, I soaked up the places of the workshop that need refinement. I slept. I read. I pouted. And today, I woke up and re-read the evaluations which expressed, in addition to the places for improvement, many thank yous and comments like this:

The experience was
“playful…restful…personally challenging.”
“enjoyable and special to be with friends and explore who I am in a creative way.”
“I had SO much fun with me today ☺ ☺ ☺”
“What a gift to the world of yourself!”

And so I smile and consider the process that has run its course in the last 48 hours: exhaustion and excitement, pouting and playfulness, rejoicing and refinement, creativity and criticism. I have paid attention to my own emotions, and realize I am probably right where I need to be. I was an active participant in my own workshop. ☺

It was definitely a learning experience filled with beautiful moments, smiling faces, soaring hearts and places of imperfection. Oh, and IT WAS GREAT!!