What I did on my Summer Vacation...

“Transitions of the past have opened the doors to my future.”

My last post contained the above words and my pondering over the last few days has led me to see how true the sentiment rings. Last spring, it felt like doors were closing every day. A significant change was leaving the job I held for three years at the graduate school where I completed my own masters degree. I adored that work, but knew it was time to move on. With that closing, I could not be certain of what might open ahead.

Over the course of the spring and summer, I found my facilitation time with Soltura slowing down and feeling like the intensive focus of the past three years was taking on a new shape, and that season of my life was shifting too.

In many ways my summer was spent grieving those losses and also learning how each of them has been a gift preparing me for the future. During my "summer vacation", my dreams began to manifest in tangible ways. Not satisfied with my private practice office, I let myself dream about new space. I wanted something spacious with a welcoming atmosphere. I preferred to be able to walk or easily take the bus. On August 1, I launched my “new and improved” practice in a wonderful yoga studio just blocks from my home. A new website, Diamonds in the Soul, followed. Business cards were designed and ordered. And the creating continued. More doors began to open.

This week, I am offering a complimentary preview workshop to several women who might not otherwise be able to attend. It is a blend of expressive arts, experiential therapy and spiritual direction. The space is full with eight women (and an overflow list, too ☺.) I am so excited I can hardly stand it! I have been reading like crazy, taking notes, gathering music, selecting images for collage, making lists of supplies, choosing poems and refining what I will have time to share in our few short hours.

The follow-up (or official workshop) will be held on October 3 at St. Placid Priory near Lacey, Washington. Reservations are being accepted now and I would love to have you join me! Check it out here and let me know if you are interested.

Another door is shared with the lovely Christine of Abbey of the Arts. We will again be offering a supervision group for compassionate listeners. Our initial group for 2009-2010 has filled and we have had inquiries about offering a second group, this one entitled Soul Care Supervision (Click on the link to check it out.) If you are anywhere near Seattle and are interested, let us know. (A participant drove from Vancouver B.C. last year and vowed it was worth the drive!)

One of the additional fruits of my supervision work with Christine is that I am going to be officially published as co-author of the chapter on using the arts in spiritual direction supervision in the upcoming book she and Betsey Beckman have written. It will be available in February of 2010. How exciting is that?!??!

As you can see, my creativity and exuberance are over-flowing. Who would have guessed where those closing doors would lead? My summer vacation was indeed dream-packed! And I haven’t even mentioned my upcoming Soul Collage Facilitator training or my pilgrimage to Ireland ☺. Stay tuned for further details.

My party of the heart continues as I learn how to give and receive my gifts in love. I invite you to share in the excitement with me. Please let me know if any of the upcoming events are of interest to you. And by all means, let me know what doors are opening (or closing) for you as we say good-bye to summer.

Peace.

images taken on my summer vacation - location - the cloisters, nyc

Playful Child

Summer time is the perfect time for daydreaming. Today I would love for us to consider our playful children. Not the ones that might be running around in your house or playing in the neighborhood outside, but the playful child who lives inside you. Yes, you...& me!

What follows is a simple meditation. If you would like to take part (and I sincerely hope you will), I suggest you gather some crayons, colored pencils or markers and a large sheet of plain paper to have by your side. Then consider this:

When you think of being a playful child, what comes to mind? Particular tastes, touch, smell? Popsicles on a hot summer day. The soft furr of a tiny kitten. The scratchy tongue of a puppy on your hand. Maybe it is the smell of popcorn and the anticipation of The Wonderful World of Disney or Howdy Doody or Sesame Street.

Are you inside or outside? Can you feel the grass beneath your feet? The splash of water on your toes? Perhaps you are curled up next to your mom or dad. Can you smell cookies baking in the oven or feel the excitement of your first day of school?

What things do you look forward to? A trip to the beach. A new book. Playing a game with friends. Hopscotch or jacks. Skipping rope or riding your bike and feeling the wind in your hair. Skiing in the fresh snow, building a snowman or the freedom of skimming across new ice on skates.

Where do you feel the most alive and content? Can you see it? Smell it? Touch it? Taste it? What does it sound like? Church bells. Peels of laughter. A gentle voice reading you a story or the magnificent silence as you gaze at the night’s brilliant stars. Can you sense the joy of finding the big dipper or the north star?

Does your playful child like small cozy spaces? Covers thrown over the table to make a tent? Snuggling in bed with a flashlight and a Nancy Drew book? Perhaps you prefer the great outdoors. The expanse of the beach or a mountain trail while sitting atop your daddy’s shoulders. Sharing the great wildness with your heavenly Father. The Grand Canyon. Miles of desert or forest or ocean or running free through endless fields of wheat or corn.

Maybe this is an actual experience or maybe it’s only that special place in your dreams. When you close your eyes and feel the senses of freedom and childhood, what comes to mind? Consider the playful child. What does she/he look like? Does playful have a taste? A smell? Use all your senses. Can you hear it? Do your fingers reach for something to touch and hold? Let your imagination flow. Be in that place where anything is possible. No fear. Only love surrounds you. Taste it. Touch it. Smell it. Feel it. See it. Know it.

And now, holding all that you have just experienced, I encourage you to use your non-dominant hand and DRAW it. Don’t think about it. Tell the inner critique you're not listening today. Just pick up a crayon and draw. What colors are this image? Let them flow onto the paper. Hold that space and be the child who knows only freedom and safety and love. Let that child and her experience flow out onto the paper. After all, she/he deserves a chance to come out and play, don't ya think?

(and then, of course, let me know what you discovered! Happy dreaming!!! ☺)

playful child ksh, age 4
lucy's drawing 8/13/09 (no need to worry about your own results. isn't mine beautiful?!?!?)

Shadows

I just lit my “candle for writing” and simultaneously I am thinking about darkness. The words ‘shadow side’ are bubbling in my head. Why do we avoid our shadow? Steer clear if we can. Think it is ‘bad.’ We hate to even acknowledge that we have a dark or shadow side to us, but guess what ...pretending it’s not there does not make it so.

Lucy Van Pelt represents my shadow side. People have come to see “My” Lucy as playful and creative rather than bossy and crabby. Is it because I do not let her ‘shadow’ side come out so much on the page? Or is it maybe things have shifted inside me as I have come to embrace what she represents?

Lucy is my inner (and outer) critic, but she also motivates me. This was a great productive and creative week for me with much of it driven by shadow and hurt. There were dark pages in my visual journal that I have not shared. And, my ‘darker’more challenging soul collage cards did not appear to be well-received (at least based on the lack of comments). Ironically, the process of making those cards helped me process some of the chaos and anxiety I was experiencing thus helping shed some light so-to-speak.

If you look closely at my collages there is always light in the ‘dark’ cards and darkness in the ‘light’ cards. (This is unintentional, by the way.) Just as initially Lucy Van Pelt was rejected by me as too crabby, bitchy & bossy, she has now become my greatest ally as I have learned to embrace her.

My greatest joys have come with much pain….(childbirth, for one.) Also, who has not experienced deep loss of some sort? If the hurt is acknowledged and processed, is there not some growth and healing that happens? Sometimes the best thing to be able to do is say, “I am sad” or “I am having a shitty week”, but in some ways I feel censored to be so honest. (My inner censor speaks loudly.)

One reader said I was in a “dark” period and subsequently quit commenting—resulting in more sadness over that loss. Others may consider overabundant joy and consecutive weeks of fabulousness to be too shallow and impossible to believe. So where is the balance? For some reason FDR's quote: “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself” comes to mind.

I need to be able to share when I am sad and when I am joyous without being afraid of the response (or lack thereof). My emotions produce great creativity from both sides. I do not believe that makes one better than the other. They are simply different, but it appears that “darkness’ is less appealing to many. It seems frightening perhaps.

The length of this post is beginning to 'frighten' me now ☺, (I do prefer shorter discourses). So, for today I am going to consider why you (I) run from the shadow side. Or maybe you don’t. Either way I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Why do you run or avoid shadow? How do you embrace it?

Wishing you lightness in your day, so you may also see the shadows ☺. Peace.

photo by h3images

collages by lucy. see related post here.

Happy New Year!

Well, I am back with loads of new photos, ponderings and maybe even a little poetry to begin this fabulous new year. Today, however, is dedicated to the introduction of my new blogsite called lucy creates! While "diamonds" will continue to be my primary site, I have taken on a challenge here to introduce creativity into my life each day of 2008.

I hope you will visit both sites and journey with me through this new year. Cheers!

"moon gate" by lucy