Love Letter to a Season

Dear Summer:

I love you with your unique pace and rhythm. I feel blessed and fortunate to be able to make choices that allow me to feel the spaciousness of your season. I like cutting back on regular routines and creating new adventures. It's like designing my own version of camp. I truly do feel like a kid on holiday exploring all sorts of new adventures. Studying French and ballet. Completing a 1/2 marathon with my some of my favorite peeps. Having friends and family come to visit. Lazier morning schedules. Summer, you offer incredible long days where I hold off putting on my pj's until almost 9:30 p.m. or you leisurely invite me to stay in them all day. The hours are filled with kitty-snuggling and beach strolling. Reading to my heart's content.

You know you've always been my favorite season and I'm really a kid at heart who loves the simple pleasures. Dreaming isn't about doing the next "big" thing - although it definitely could be. Last week my heart's desire popped out that I want to live in France. Now how would I even know that? I've spent eight days in Paris. Period. And I'm not sure Paris is where I'd even choose to live, but it's fun to have a fabulous dream. It doesn't mean I won't be happy unless or until I get there. It's actually plenty fun to live right now, because truly I have all I need.

So what do I do with ma fantasie de la Francaise? Well... I pull out my drive time French CD's. I buy baguette and cheese for dinner. I practice ordering cafe au lait en francais and I listen to lots of French pop music. Why? Because it makes me happy and brings me pleasure and delight. It speaks the language of summer. Does that mean I'm living in a fantasy world? Mais non! After all, that's what kids do in the summer time - especially if their parents don't overload them with activities designed to "get ahead" in the world. We've lost the art of doing nothing. I firmly believe it should be a part of everyone's day in every season! Summer, thank you for reminding me this is the natural order of life. When I do the little things that bring me joy (like taking French & ballet, "just because") it makes me feel so incredibly happy that those around me can't help but feel good too! It's like warm sun spreading across the sky after a long gray winter. Joy is contagious!

If teacher asked me to write what I did on my summer vacation, here are a few of the top adventures I'd share. French Kissing Life with Tonya Leigh; Martha's magical training tour; reading teen novels; climbing rock walls; having minor surgery and getting a "bad ass" scar (my daughter's interpretation). Cutting back on weekly hours, developing a rockin' new curriculum; planning a fabulous retreat; hanging out with friends; visiting the Olympic peninsula and my grownup son; eating lots of frozen yogurt with my employed daughter; sitting in the sunshine reading Tao te Ching while my beloved takes amazing photographs; ferry and convertible rides; deep contemplative practice and extensive examination of the back of my eye lids; siestas after lunches of fresh-grilled veggies; making delicious food just because; planning fantasy dinner parties that one day will happen; signing up for Fall adventures that make me quake with excitement and just a tinge of fear; discovering green smoothies; going Vegan for a few days; dreaming and dancing; living and loving life. Rest and respite.

Summer, what can I say? Merci, beaucoups. Je t'aime!

Diamonds in the Soul - helping high-functioning, under-living people uncover & maintain personal delight & joy in life.

Quiet Voice of Wisdom

The season of Lent begins today with Ash Wednesday. Words like surrender, sabbath, and begin again greet me with the journey. Step by step I inquire where I'm going. Today happens to be a day with a bit more spaciousness surrounding me. While I have lots to do, I don't have any "official" meetings scheduled so I am able to slow down and listen more deeply. For some reason a great scene from the book Eat, Pray, Love keeps coming to my mind. (btw - the scene is in the movie, but doesn't do the book justice) In the passage, Elizabeth Gilbert has her first intentional meeting with God. As she waits for wisdom in a time of crisis, she hears the simple words, "Go back to bed, Liz." This scene is so profound for me, because that is how I often experience the still small voice of wisdom.

Today's quiet has offered direction moment by moment: read this, write that, shower now, rest, fix dinner, sit, rest, and so on. When asked a question offered by Abbey of the Arts, these words arose:

What is the grace I am seeking this Holy season?

Surrender to the voices of Sabbath.
Let the timelessness was over you.
Trust. Laugh. Love more.
Rest and restore.

What is your still small voice inviting today? What grace are you seeking this season?

Drafty Window

"Other people's pain is the wind on our house(s)." -- Betsy Pearson

The favorite room in my home is my studio and office. It is painted a brilliant color that brightens my day every time I see it. The walls are adorned with art and artifacts I've intentionally collected and each piece holds significant meaning. My studio is a place I can get messy, play and also work very hard. It's a place of comfort and rest, so it's ironic that it also encompasses one of my least favorite things - a drafty window.

Pondering this window with a friend, it came to represent a powerful metaphor in my life. The window has its special qualities which make it hard to replace. It folds gently in the middle thus allowing fresh air to pour in during the warm months while also buffering the wind which can be too chilly in this Northwest climate. There is a certain amount of protection and control from the climate. In the winter, however, the North wind blows stridently and seeps through the broken seals. Even as I wrap myself in cozy quilts, the air is chilled and impacts my warm heart. It's like the whole world is coming in through the cracks and there isn't enough heat to warm us all. It is the blessing and curse of having a heart broken wide open. There is a crack in everything that's how the pain gets in. Sometimes there is enough warmth and compassion. Other times the draft chills me to the bone.

• Step outside and feel the air on your skin
• Imagine each breath of air contains someone's pain and another's joy
• Breathe deeply and experience the connection with the whole world
• With your out-breath, send a warm blanket of love, joy and compassion into the Universe

Soulful Travel

" If we truly want to know the secret of soulful travel, we need to believe that there is something sacred waiting to be discovered in virtually every journey. "

--Phil Cousineau

As summer slowly draws to a close and the nip of fall enters the Pacific Northwest air, I find myself dreaming of journey. This may seem an odd perspective as the traditional season of summer vacation wanes, however, journey speaks to me of something further reaching than trips.

That said, travel offers a unique opportunity to explore outside our usual surroundings. Personally, I'm preparing for my fall pilgrimage to the Egyptian Sinai Desert which I find both exhilarating and a bit frightening as I step into the unknown mysteries of a faraway and ancient land. However, it is no more exciting to me than what lies ahead as the seasons change - or even as I awaken each new day.

My recent edition of diamonds in the soul is dedicated to new and upcoming opportunities to step into your own "soulful travel" while exploring the depths of your unique presence. I hope you'll consider where your heart may be tugging you this season. Perhaps one of the remaining spots in a Soul Care group or an evening of SoulCollage®. I'm accepting new clients for counseling and spiritual direction and will be offering online and virtual experiences, too.

Your fall travel may sadly have nothing whatsoever to do with me, AND I'd love to hear where your heart moves when you think of journey!!

To stay "in the know" about my upcoming offerings - both live and virtual - be sure to sign up for my diamonds in the soul monthly newsletter if you haven't done so already. (See the sidebar).

See you soon!!


photo august on the kingston ferry ©lucy

balanced for flight

snippets from my summer reading...

"I know this much about racing in the rain. I know it is about balance. It is about anticipation and patience. I know all of the driving skills that are necessary for one to be successful in the rain. But racing in the rain is also about the mind! It is about owning one's own body. About believing that one's car is merely an extension of one's body. About believing that the track is an extension of the car, and the rain is an extension of the track, and the sky is an extension of the rain. It is about believing that you are not you; you are everything. And everything is you." -- Enzo from The Art of Racing in the Rain

"It sometimes entered Mr. Pontellier's mind to wonder if his wife were not growing a little unbalanced mentally. He could see plainly that she was not herself. That is, he could not see that she was becoming herself and daily casting aside that fictitious self which we assume like a garment with which to appear before the world."

"There was with her a feeling of having descended in the social scale, with a corresponding sense of having risen in the spiritual. Every step which she took toward relieving herself from obligations added to her strength and expansion as an individual. She began to look with her own eyes; to see and to apprehend the deeper undercurrents of life. No longer was she content to "feed upon opinion" when her own soul had invited her." -- Kate Chopin's The Awakening

"In human life as in the rest of nature, change accumulates slowly and almost invisibly until it is made manifest in the sudden form of fledging out or thawing or leaf-fall." -- Transitions

To fledge means to bring up until able to fly. Where have you spread your wings this summer? Has balance escaped you? What is the invitation of your soul? Are you balanced for flight?

I look forward to hearing from you!

"essence" collage by lucy 7.10.09

2008 Restrospective

No matter how many times I review the year 2008 and think of all of the things I did, saw, experienced and lived, it will always be The Year I Went to Paris!! On the other end of the spectrum, it will also be remembered as the year my beloved Curry died. My oh my, what a full year! Here are a few of the highlights to help synthesize my own memory ☺. In 2008:

lucy creates!!! was launched.
My trip to Paris was born via another blogger’s Sunday Collection
I took my first official art class @ Pratt Institute – Beginning Collage
Dreaming in French found its way into my nights
More than two dozen books made my completed reading list
Completed the co-authorship & facilitation of The Paradoxical Dance – a workshop for couples
Experienced lots of extraordinary ordinary time
Swam with the dolphins
Played and traveled with my sister
Missed my brother
Lots of Soul Collage
Had my first birth chart reading & later a current cycles reading
Took the Baby Road Trip (1975 miles)
Said good-bye to Curry
Experienced Sabbath with friends
Walked my first labyrinth (& my second)
Went on a Contemplative Yoga and Art Retreat
Was introduced to Photoshop Elements
Walked and walked and walked in the December snow
Enrolled in a Memoir Writing Course for 2009
Bought my own djembe & signed up for drumming lessons (beginning in two weeks)
Birthed a new collaboration for Group Spiritual Direction Supervision
Posted 362 blog entries
Filled half a dozen composition notebooks
Dreamed
Played
Cried
Laughed
Lived

Wow! Bring on 2009!!! Happy New Year!!!

my winter wonderland

for more views, stop by lucy creates!!!

musings on a winter day

Winter
Snowy Brilliance
Cocooning. Holding. Birthing.
Bringing me new life.
Solstice

It is like a white cloak of peace and contentment have settled over my neighborhood. The snow continues and I am at rest snuggled warmly inside my cozy house. Looking out the window at the snow covered branches, I think of the new birth that awaits within - the bud of spring wrapped cozily inside the thick branches. How does the new life form within? I ask the same of myself. My advent reading this morning offered this: "As with pregnancy, so with our spiritual lives: the thing anticipated is already forming within us". It must be the same for the new leaves that patiently await bursting forth in spring.

I wonder about birth - about resurrection - the pointing toward Christ and new life. What of the centuries of civilizations and ancient myths that are wrapped around life - death - rebirth? What of the winter of our souls? Wrapped in darkness and often cold? How many will not make it to spring? The branches that will break off in the storm never to sprout fresh again?

I think of my life - my fading beauty. I am past the spring & yes even the summer of my life. How can that be? Where did the time go? I am encouraged, however, as I think of myself as Fall now - ablaze in color of golden and crimson leaves - set apart from mundane shades of green. There is beauty everywhere. My favorite season has always been summer yet even my favorite has its downside. Summer can be so harsh and the hot sun burns the colors to a crisp.

Today, however, I sit wrapped in winter. It is dark and white and I am loving it. The lighting of candles. The warmth of handmade quilts snuggled around me. The chill of my nose and the pink of my cheeks - frosted not burned. Today I think of Mary, mother of Jesus, saying yes to God. I am reminded of my own moments of God-radiance when I have said yes - overpowered by the brilliance of God - like the winter landscape wrapped in white splendor. My heart longs for that brilliance and new birth AND my heart is content. Today I am grateful to be alive with awareness of each moment - each season of life.

What is the season of your life? Do peace and contentment envelop you as Christmas steadily approaches? Or are you harried and worn out waiting for the season to come to an end?

I wish you peace & contentment and your own special warmth!

photos taken this morning & the snow continues! for more "december views", check out lucy creates!!!

what's your favorite hour of the day?

Oh, Dawn...how do you feel when you are wrapped in fog? Is it cozy or are you bursting inside-- wanting the air to receive your brilliant light? Do you have trouble awakening? Must you set an alarm or does the end of night push you out of bed? Do you smile when you awaken? Do you have gray days like me? Do you know beforehand what kind of day you will be?

My friend, Day, do you prefer the rain or sun? How about the wind & snow? Is your favorite the brilliance of the light? Do you have a favorite mood--one that fits you best? Or are you a chameleon--bending to my whim & demand?




Dusk. You wax & wane. Sometimes your time comes quickly and others it lingers. What do you think of that? Do you have a favorite color? Why some days do you offer your brilliance and other days hold back? Do you feel caught between the dark & light? Or do you rest in the blend of both?





Dark. Do you feel judged? Misunderstood? Are you sneaky? Are you comfort? And, what do you think of our friend, the moon? Do you feel lonely when the sky is empty or are you happy for some time to yourself? Are you the evil warrior that some speak of or are you the warm blanket of safety and rest? Do you crave the light or can you rest in your own shadows? Are you lonely? Are you satisfied? Do you call out for the light of day to greet you? Do you play in those early morning hours? Do you sleep when Dawn appears or do you linger in the shadows of the day?


This is a piece of free-writing (i.e. unedited) done during retreat last week. I would love to hear what questions you have of the day!

all photos by lucy @ hood canal, union, wa 12.08

another good-bye OR end of an era

This time the good-bye is not one of living breathing sorts, but rather it is a farewell to our 1993 Previa mini-van. As of today, I am officially no longer a mini-van mom. It is with mixed emotions that I say this farewell for indeed it feels much more like the end of an era rather than the sale of a car.

I can still picture the day nearly 15 years ago when my husband called and asked me to come test drive this gem he had just found. Things moved pretty quickly and before I knew it, he had returned to work and I was left at the car dealership with two very small children (aged 4 and one.) The three of us were there for what seemed like hours, but at the end of the day I was no longer a BMW-driving yuppie and had officially joined the ranks of Soccer moms everywhere (even though soccer would not be introduced into our lives for four more years.)

It feels funny to have this little tug pulling at my heart as I sit waiting for the new owner to come pick up the car. As I wait, my life (or at least the last 15 years) seems to flash before my eyes. I can feel the hundreds of trips between our home and the little Christian elementary school both kids attended. My daughter and I picked Curry up in this van. His favorite spot became the space between the driver and passenger seats where he regally held court as we went through many a drive through and he was lavished with doggie treats while the kids received candy or stickers. I see the road trips we took--traveling as far as Penticton, Canada for the Canadian Ironman and south to California for Christmas with dear friends.

My kids grew up in that car and I guess I probably did too. We considered saving it for our son to drive, but the thought of a teenage boy with all that space stirs up memories of my own youth and I shudder at the thought. We have considered selling the car for more than a year now. In the back of my mind, it seemed in many ways to be Curry’s car. He never liked sedans or smaller vehicles until he experienced the joy of my VW convertible. In later years he could not climb into taller cars and so we kind of kept the van around—just in case…

So, 'just in case' has come and gone. It is time to say good-bye. Good-bye to the van. Good-bye to an era. That car is full of amazing memories and I hope many more will be accumulated as I turn it over to its new owner—a mom with three small children. Her brother knocked on our door last night inquiring if we would like to sell it. Evidently his sister’s car (another Previa) had been totaled by a drunk driver and they have little money to spare. We had a family conference to decide if we would sell it for less than ½ the blue book value to a man who was potentially scamming us. My daughter put things in a way only a teenager can when she said, “Really…who would try to scam us for that piece of you know what!?!??!?” My thought was that even if it was a scam, the man appeared to be less fortunate than we and my hope is that the new/old car would somehow benefit him and his family. (Gee, that sounds more magnanimous than I really feel! ☺) It also feels like time to say good-bye. Time to do a little de-cluttering as Sunrise Sister has recently reminded us.

Well...the car may be gone and the street therefore a little less cluttered, but the memories will last a lifetime (especially since I decided to write a few of them down ☺.)

Off to the Races

Fall has always been more a time of new beginning for me than January 1. Maybe it is because so much of my life has revolved around the school year—first my own, then my children’s & now my own again as I return to my work at a graduate school. Today I woke up early with my mind racing and so much to consider. I really hate that feeling. I have schedules to make. Meetings to attend. Will yoga class help or squeeze my time too much today? Should I get up or have a little more needed rest? But my mind races.

I have a new schedule. Two groups of students to meet with individually (17 in all—double what I have done in the past). My birthday is this week. What shall I do for that? I have two workshops in the next two weeks. There are two soccer teams to put on my calendar. The high school calendar arrived yesterday with more dates to fill. My husband is confirming his “away” dates. My daughter has a complicated schedule that I often need to be involved in. I still miss my dog.

Time seems to be filling up. Precious time. Precious space that I cherish. And I cherish the moments that I spend doing the things I love. Being with friends. Being with family. Being with students. All good stuff, you know? I am someone who cherishes solitude AND I am energized by my work. I consider myself a balanced person. I find myself irritated with people who say, “I don’t have time for…solitude, writing, play, you fill in the blank.” And here I sit with my heart pounding and my mind racing because my list is so full.

And then I have to smile, because God is so great. I opened up my morning devotional and today’s title was “Too Full”. Hmmm. Sounds like I’m not alone ☺. And that really irritates me, because today I don’t want to be the cliché. I don’t want to be like everybody else. I don’t want to be ‘too full’ of stuff! I want my nice little serene existence. Ha!

This definitely feels like a season. It all comes back to me now. It is the beginning of the school year with checks to write and calendars to coordinate. It is a new beginning and I love new beginnings. So, for now I think I will breathe deeply, make a list of things that must be done. Attempt to enjoy this season rather than just get through it. I am grateful. I am grateful for so much and even if I find just 10 minutes for solitude today, it will be enough. I will be enough. Amen.

This is why I love writing…I have just talked myself down from the ledge and remembered all of those little spaces of quiet and serenity I have reserved for myself (even if they only exist in my mind). I have remembered to be grateful. I have found a little place to stop the ‘racing.’ Now if I can just keep my mind from firing the starter gun again! ☺

mornings by the sea

"morning is a time of promise and possibility spread out in the day before us." --Christine Valters Paintner

one of my favorite "companions" during my week away was this lovely zine by Christine Paintner, "season by the sea: a contemporary book of hours." it is lovely in both verse and image. i hope you will choose to support Christine's work and give yourself a special treat by ordering your own copy here.

Merry Christmas to All!!!

Christmas blessings to all of my wonderful readers! You have made my life richer this year with your presence (and that goes for all of you, too, who insist on remaining anonymous!!) Maybe today is the day to screw up your courage and stop for a moment to say "Merry Christmas, Lucy!"

Peace to you and yours.

collage by lucy of lucy 12.22.07

a hard one to post...

I need something lovely to write and to say. I want a beautiful picture to post. Things are all locked up…the words...the photos. Much as I don’t want to admit it, I think I hate the holiday season. All anyone can talk about is how busy they are. How much there is to do. "Are you ready for the holidays???" Why the hubbub? What’s the big deal? So, you cook an extra meal or two and stand around at a couple of holiday parties where you are bored to death. What’s the big deal? Aaaaarrrrrggggggghhhh. Maybe I do hate the holidays...or at least what they seem to have become. I think it makes me sad.

Renewed Awareness

"Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions" Natasha Bedingfield

In just the last couple of years I have become more conscious of the seasons of the earth and life along with listening to my own rhythm as well as that of the world. This fall season has brought renewed awareness of my feminine self. (On the surface it feels "new", however, my soul tells me it is more of an awakening thus the need to use the word "renewed.)

I have also spoken of my connection with the sun as well as dream work and collage. For a few weeks now I have been thinking of a poem I wrote last fall during my first experience of working with collage. Today I revisited that poem and noticed that the "season" was nearly an identical time frame to this year's "work."

Coincidence? Synchronicity? The rhythms of life? Who can say, all I know is that something powerful is at work!

Here is my poem from last fall:

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Feminine World

I am the pain of the world, covered with blue scarves & white.
I am the beauty of the world, bare-shouldered with upswept hair.
I am the fire of the world, burning with desire and hope.
I am the joy of the world, reaching toward the heavens.

I am the beauty of the world, bare-shouldered with upswept hair.
I am the luscious berry, bursting with flavor.
I am the joy of the world, reaching toward the heavens.
I am the soul of the world, centered through pain, beauty, touch and taste.

I am the luscious berry.
I am the fire of the world.
I am the soul of the world.
I am the pain of the world, covered with blue scarves & white.


photo by maryjane hughlett

Breakin' Out

Fall has landed with a blowing rainstorm in Seattle. It brought with it a sick daughter, a growing teenage son, a traveling husband, new students to help train, two writing groups, Soltura's move to the northwest and a boot camp that is sucking all of the blood from my brain to rescue the muscles and joints that have been screaming for attention.

Needless to say, I am feeling a little scattered and disjointed. My most focused “quiet” time came last night around 2:00 a.m. when all of the above started to float around in my brain. I lay in bed for about an hour before I finally listened to that still small voice that said, “Why don’t you sit up and write for awhile? See if that helps.” Lo and behold, I journaled for a few pages until finally the words, “Be still and know that I am God,” appeared on the page. Simultaneously, I started to feel rest in my body. I finished the page I was writing, lay my journal aside and fell soundly asleep for the 1 ½ hours I had before the alarm clock rang announcing boot camp.

Today we went for a 3-mile hike with only flashlights to lead our way through Discovery Park. I walked alongside a woman I am not sure I would recognize in the daylight, but our conversation was full and the scenery as the sun started to rise was breathtaking. After the rain of the past few days, it was a reasonably clear morning. There were stars through the clouds and the hint of pink in the sky as the sun began to rise. For a few moments, I was able to forget the lists and give thanks to the voice that provides me rest in both my waking and sleeping hours.

Upon arriving home, I sat down to check in on some of my favorite blogs only to find that I had been recommended for the "Breakout Blogger" award by one of my personal favorites, Christine at Abbey of the Arts.

Christine described my blog as “playful and deep.” That feels like a lot to live up to and for a moment I really felt the pressure! Then I did what I do…I sat down and started to write from my heart. Is it playful and deep? Who knows? It is hard for me to judge. It’s just me and that is what I have to offer.

Part of the honor of being named a breakout blogger is to pass along four of my own favorites. (Again, the pressure ☺). Since I visit a reasonably small blogosphere, many of my recommendations have already been made. My top three favorites of “consistent” bloggers are Abbey of the Arts, Tess @ Anchors and Masts and Northwoods Contemplative. I would also add to this list:

Shelby @ Time with Shelby. Her readings range from her daily life of trying to find work and keep up with school to grocery lists she has found along the way as well as a variety of delightful tidbits that just plain make me smile. ☺

Country Parson is a new blogger who speaks of theological matters with a heart for the world. I generally have to put on my “thinking cap” here and always walk away with something new to ponder.

Sunrise Sister is a delight when she decides to let things pass through the Mind Sieve. I hope she will begin to write more as her life takes some exciting turns with the New Year. She has a lot of wonderful things to say!

It looks like the blood has reentered my brain for a moment or two. (I have to take advantage of that before the adrenaline runs out and I realize I only had about 4 hours of sleep last night, so I am off to enter my day…again ☺.)

Thanks for reading. As always I am glad you are here and would love a “hello” from your side of the screen ☺.

Cheers! Lucy

photos by me

Season's Rhythm

My daily life has a new rhythm and I am not sure what I think about it. The biggest change is that I have enrolled in adventure boot camp for the next four weeks. As I sit here at day four, finding new muscles each time I move, I wonder what I am doing. My body screams pain right now, but in the early morning (Camp begins at 5:30 a.m.) I begin to feel new strength, endurance and vitality as I push through bicep curls and obstacle courses. It is a surreal experience as we gather in the dark and fog, do our thing and return home before sunrise.

I am exhausted and exhilarated all at the same time. I find, however, that my brain is not so engaged once I return home to try and read or write as I normally do in the morning. It is hard to think of God when muscles beg to be the center of attention. I have thought a bit about the Ascetics, particularly those who practice self-mortification. In my current state it really seems counterintuitive that bringing more pain to the body could bring you closer to God. It certainly removes thoughts about the rest of the world, but as I said earlier, I find it difficult to settle in and rest with God when my body yells, “take care of me.” I realize, of course, that a strenuous exercise program is not necessarily the same as a strict ascetic practice, but once the blood does flow back into my brain, I can’t help but ponder thoughts such as these.

Today, however, as I returned from taking my children to their respective schools I was compell-
ingly drawn toward the aesthetic beauty of the sunflowers pictured here. They gleamed with their brilliance from a neighborhood community garden. As I looked more closely, I saw that some had started to bow their heads as if in prayer while others lifted their faces toward the sun. Their rhythm was a reminder to me of my own rhythm…this new place I find myself as fall enters in with new work, school schedules and, of course, adventure boot camp. Will I raise my face toward the sun or gently bow my head and rest?

What are your rhythms as the seasons begin to change? Are you drawn to ascetic or aesthetic thoughts? Eugene Peterson speaks of the ascetic and aesthetic movements as being the “no and the yes that work together at the heart of spiritual theology.” I’d love to read your comments on this post.

photos by lucy

Stillness

There is a quietness and stillness about me today. Entering Fall. Saying good-bye to summer. Preparing my nest for winter. Starting a new journey with the students at Mars Hill. A new group of women coming to Soltura this week.

New. The leaves must die to prepare a way for the new. Anticipation. Holiness. Stillness. Excitement. What will this fall bring? God whispers the answers when we are still, if only we are willing to listen. There is a quietness and stillness about me today. May I be willing to listen. Amen.

Compost

Yesterday I worked hard. I tended my garden, both literally and figuratively. I inhaled the clean, spring Seattle air mixed with the smell of fresh mulch that held just a hint of manure. A pile of dark earth was delivered to my home. Who knew that a mound of dirt could hold so many opportunities for discovery, such as tiny rocks and other things that somehow survived the composting process?

Is life on earth simply a composting process? Before yesterday I thought of the composting process as only a breaking down or decaying procedure, but interestingly enough the root word ‘compositum’ actually means ‘something put together’. So, I ask the question again, is life simply a composting process?

I wonder, will we allow ourselves to be broken down until only our true self is left, like the pebbles that arrived in my heap of compost? Will we stay in the process until there is no more space for barriers and defenses? Until what you see is what you get? A life as pure as a pebble.

We are called to be true to our nature. A rock is a rock. A bird is a bird. Water is water. People are people. We cannot be anything else. Yet maybe we are most like water as we take on the colors and reflections of the world around us. But when we try to reflect what is not our nature, there is disharmony and confusion. If water reflects a flame, it does not become fire. It is still water. We, too, can reflect many things, but to be at peace—to be whole and true to ourselves and to God—we need only be who we naturally and truly are at our very core.

Some of us resemble rocks and some are free as birds, others are beautiful flowers blossoming anew each day. And, me? Well, I am simply a child playing in this magnificent garden.

Let it Blossom

“How can you follow the course of your life if you do not let it flow?” Lao-Tzu


Everywhere I look, Spring is bursting forth with life and new birth. Blossoms, babies, puppies and green grass. And, the question, “What is blossoming in me?” keeps showing up. It feels like the rest of my life is waiting to blossom, but the “live in the moment” side of me says, “Wait, don’t get ahead of yourself. What about today?” Nevertheless, I am at a bit of a crossroads. Decisions need to be made surrounding my career path and I desperately want to follow what is my calling. Fortunately, the two are closely interwoven.

How will I step out? How will I bring me, first, to myself, and then, how will I bring myself to the world? For there is only one Me. Lovely, kind, and free. Fiercely tender. Funny. Smart. Quick and contemplative. Bold and shy. A paradoxical being. I am a woman ready to spring forth into blossoms—maybe one at a time or maybe a whole bed of crocus bursting at once.

There is a vitality, a life-force, an energy,
a quickening that is translated
through you into action.

And because there is only one of you
in all of time this expression is unique.
and if you block it, it will never exist through any other
medium and be lost.

The world will not have it.
It is not your business to determine how good it is
nor how it compares with other expressions.

It is your business to
keep it yours clearly and directly,
to keep the channel open;
whether you choose to take an art class,
keep a journal, record your dreams,
dance your story or live each day from
your own creative source.
Above, all else, keep the channel open.

--Martha Graham