On hope...

People don’t cry
when they lose their
hope.
They cry
when they
get it back.

Martha Beck

Pondering... 30 in 30 - Day 28

"To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasant sensations in the world. You are surrounded by adventure. You have no idea of what is in store for you, but you will, if you are wise and know the art of travel, let yourself go on the stream of the unknown and accept whatever comes in the spirit in which the gods may offer it." -- Freya Stark

Diamonds in the Soul - helping high-functioning, under-living people recover and nourish personal delight & joy in life.

Just Be(e)

"Of all that God has shown me
I can speak just the smallest word,
Not more than a honey bee
Takes on his foot
From an overspilling jar."

—Mechtild of Magdeburg


"bee hind" ©h3images

Original Medicine

Refining and expanding seems to be a full time endeavor as I begin 2011. It's fantastic, exciting and has kept me away from these pages too long. I miss my blog peeps! I really do. AND - oh my, there's lots going on in Camp Lucy.

One of the foremost ideas on my mind these days is something called "original medicine." Gail Larsen shares this in her book, Transformational Speaking:

"...we are all "original medicine," born to this earth with gifts and talents that are ours and ours alone. If we do not bring those gifts and talents forward, they are lost to the world for all time."

Powerful stuff, huh? Within days of hearing about original medicine, I found myself working with this quote from Martha Graham:

"...because there is only one of you in all time, (your) expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it."

These messages speak loudly to me and remind me that I have something to offer the world - even when my inner critic says, "Who do you think YOU are?" No one is me nor thinks exactly like I or has experienced what I have in the same ways. My goal/role is to find what wants to be birthed into the world - by me. If I keep my expression close to my heart, no one else has the chance see it, feel it or experience it. It's not my job to make others believe anything. It is my desire to share as authentically as I can, warts and all. This is integral to the process of refining and expanding.

If I live in a way that is transparent, authentic and open (TAO), others may begin to see that they, too, have permission to do the same. I lived for most of my life believing that everyone else had "it" figured out better than I. But, no one can figure out me better than I. No one else knows what makes my heart soar or my pulse quicken. Only I know what is best for me.

I'm not sure how much original medicine exists in this post, but my hope and prayer is that something sparks within you (as I ramble on reminding myself of my own spark.) And, if you need permission to share your original medicine... I, lucy of the light, take great pleasure and honor in granting it to you. Now, quick, go be you!!! Namaste.

© lucy & bella - sinai, 2010

Wild Angels

The readings and practices I have encountered and engaged in during this season of Lent have been rich and full of deep meaning for me. I have found myself moving through the desert and awakening into spring. The dark of night has whispered love stories to me and the light of day has proven expansive and wondrous. Integration has been a key theme as I look back on the days and weeks proceeding this day.

Yesterday, however, after writing my post about chakras and meditation, I found myself wondering if people are confused by my writing – by me – by my faith. The church of my youth and not-so-distant past frowned disparagingly on notions of yoga and opening your mind beyond the concrete pages of the Bible. So, I guess it’s no wonder there are vestiges of personal thought that linger in that camp. Yet, when I listen deeply to my heart and sink into the word of God that engages me at every turn, I know I’m truly on a Holy path.

Yesterday’s post referred to a small portion of a quote from Tao Te Ching, but I spent much of the day with another piece pricking at my mind:

"Care about people’s approval
and you will be their prisoner."
--Tao Te Ching

Today’s scripture reading offered me affirmation it was time to let go of those lingering thoughts of worry:

“The Lord God has given me a well-trained tongue, that I might know how to speak to the weary a word that will rouse them.”
Isaiah 50:4

…and suddenly the battles of how to communicate my faith dissipated. There is a wholeness I feel that reaches beyond only the Bible’s pages. It comes from the brokenness I have experienced in my life as well as the joy I find in some pretty unexpected places. Learning to rouse myself and those around me is my calling.

Exploring the world – all corners of it – is my path to God. Studying yoga – chakras – centering prayer – praying with the elements – soul collage – drumming – water dance – laughter – tears – hours in silence – creating art – writing poetry – doing nothing – going on pilgrimage, et cetera, et cetera – are just a few of the pathways where I have met God.

If I worry about what others think – if I let them pick my path – then they own me. So, I ask myself, “What is my heart?”

My heart is connected to the world – intertwined with God – grounded in the earth – reaching toward the heavens. Knowing what is love and what is fear. We fear what we do not know. Thus, I continue seeking and hoping for a developed mind that learns to speak with a “well-trained tongue, that I might know how to speak to the weary.”

In closing, I must share the final little impetus that led me to write these words. It comes from today’s post at Abbey of the Arts where she asks us to name which angel is calling to us as we enter this final week of Lent. My angel greeted me boldly. She is one who has come before and I pray will come on a regular basis. She is the one I believe overcomes fear and pushes us toward freedom. Beware before you read any further, because I wholeheartedly offer this blessing to you (and me) from this Wild Angel ☺.

May the Angel of Wildness disturb the places
Where your life is domesticated and safe,
Take you to the territories of true otherness.
-John O'Donohue

The angel of wildness picked me up, pulled me out of complacency and introduced me to “true otherness”. For that (& more) I am eternally grateful.. May you feel whole, connected and free during the coming days. May your week truly be Holy.

Namaste ☺

for today...

"...shaped by our suffering and polished by our joy, we become the Earth, knowing more and saying less." -- Mark Nepo

ponder this...

"Perhaps the most important
thing we can undertake toward
the reduction of fear is to make
it easier for people to accept
themselves, to like themselves."

--Bonaro W. Overstreet

photo by lucy © 9.28.09

until i have more time and...

"Until the veil of the unknown yields
And something original begins
To stir toward (my) senses
And grow stronger in (my) heart..." -- John O'Donohue

celebrating blessings

Only 20 pages in and I am LOVING this book:

My Grandfather's Blessings - Rachel Naomi Remen

"Blessing life may be more about learning how to celebrate life than learning how to fix life."

"...life is about filling yourself up so that your blessings overflow onto others."


"celebrating life" photo by lucy 6.20.09

serendipity? synchronicity? spirituality?

So, this is kind of how my life goes. Following yesterday's post, this showed up in my inbox this morning. Hmmmm.

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Saying No

For many of us, the most difficult word to say is one of the shortest and easiest in the vocabulary: No. Go ahead, say it aloud: No.

No - simple to pronounce, hard to say. We’re afraid people won’t like us, or we feel guilty. We may believe that a “good” employee, child, parent, spouse, or Christian never says no.

The problem is, if we don’t learn to say no, we stop liking ourselves and the people we always try to please. We may even punish others out of resentment.

When do we say no? When no is what we really mean.

When we learn to say no, we stop lying. People can trust us, and we can trust ourselves. All sorts of good things happen when we start saying what we mean.

If we’re scared to say no, we can buy some time. We can take a break, rehearse the word, and go back and say no. We don’t have to offer long explanations for our decisions.

When we can say no, we can say yes to the good. Our no’s and our yes’s begin to be taken seriously. We gain control of ourselves. And we learn a secret: “No” isn’t really that hard to say.

Today, I will say no if that is what I mean.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

balanced for flight

snippets from my summer reading...

"I know this much about racing in the rain. I know it is about balance. It is about anticipation and patience. I know all of the driving skills that are necessary for one to be successful in the rain. But racing in the rain is also about the mind! It is about owning one's own body. About believing that one's car is merely an extension of one's body. About believing that the track is an extension of the car, and the rain is an extension of the track, and the sky is an extension of the rain. It is about believing that you are not you; you are everything. And everything is you." -- Enzo from The Art of Racing in the Rain

"It sometimes entered Mr. Pontellier's mind to wonder if his wife were not growing a little unbalanced mentally. He could see plainly that she was not herself. That is, he could not see that she was becoming herself and daily casting aside that fictitious self which we assume like a garment with which to appear before the world."

"There was with her a feeling of having descended in the social scale, with a corresponding sense of having risen in the spiritual. Every step which she took toward relieving herself from obligations added to her strength and expansion as an individual. She began to look with her own eyes; to see and to apprehend the deeper undercurrents of life. No longer was she content to "feed upon opinion" when her own soul had invited her." -- Kate Chopin's The Awakening

"In human life as in the rest of nature, change accumulates slowly and almost invisibly until it is made manifest in the sudden form of fledging out or thawing or leaf-fall." -- Transitions

To fledge means to bring up until able to fly. Where have you spread your wings this summer? Has balance escaped you? What is the invitation of your soul? Are you balanced for flight?

I look forward to hearing from you!

"essence" collage by lucy 7.10.09

are you awake?

"Only that day dawns to which we are awake." Thoreau

Posts to help awaken your May day:
Blisschick
Abbey of the Arts
Anchors & Masts

more pondering...

"We are warmed by fire, not by the smoke of fire.

We are carried over the sea by a ship, not by the wake of a ship.

So, too, what we are is to be sought in the invisible depths of our own being,
not in our outward reflection in our own acts."

--Thomas Merton

Smoke or fire? Wake or ship? Focusing on the outer appearances using smoke & mirrors? Or reflecting in the invisible depths? Where do you find yourself today?

things i'm pondering today...

"The self is a calm stable center surrounded by a continuous changing sea. Merge with yourself and be ready for any emergent sea." Coretta Scott King

Wise ones tell us to be true to ourselves. Being true to ourselves means daring to disagree with a loved one, even when we know it might cause painful tension. It means refusing to go along with the group's plans if our values are being ignored. It means standing alone, if necessary, in our family of origin if their expectations of us no longer nurture our growth. --from "A Woman's Spirit" by Karen Casey

"It is the only thing we can do...I see no alternative; each of us must turn inward and destroy in himself all that he thinks he ought to destroy in others. and remember that every atom of hatred we add to the world makes it still more inhospitable." (written by Etty Hillesum, a woman who ultimately died in Auschwitz...found in Jan Richardson's "Garden of Hollows.")

BlissChick's post, "Does enlightenment mean I'll never be pissed?"

Anger. Forgiveness. Standing up for myself. Personal Value.

I invite you to ponder along with me!

rodin's "thinker" - paris 3.08

blossoms speak

This seems to be the little combo that wanted to be posted today. Who am I to argue?

"Help the world by leaving a trail of who you are."

-- Mark Nepo

"blossoms" collage by lucy 1.31.09

fire. rock. water. you. me.

"In loving ourselves, we love the world. For just as fire, rock and water are all made up of molecules, everything, including you and me, is connected by a small piece of the beginning." --Mark Nepo

sunset hill 1.23.09

The most exhausting thing you can do is to be inauthentic.

--Anne Morrow Lindburgh

what goes with me...

The excitement is building as the hours fly swiftly by. I still need to get some Euros, fine tune my packing, go to work for a few hours and BREATHE! While looking for a quote to kick off my Paris trip, I found this lovely gem by Picasso.

“Each second we live is a new and unique moment of the universe, a moment that will never be again. And what do we teach our children? We teach them that two and two make four, and that Paris is the capital of France. When will we also teach them what they are? We should say to each of them: Do you know what you are? You are a marvel. You are unique. In all the years that have passed, there has never been another child like you. Your legs, your arms, your clever fingers, the way you move. You may become a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo, a Beethoven. You have the capacity for anything. Yes, you are a marvel. And when you grow up, can you then harm another who is, like you, a marvel? You must work, we must all work, to make the world worthy of its children."

I realize the quote has very little to do with Paris specifically, but it has everything to do with the world as a whole. (And even though Paris calls my name today, I know it is in the world that I choose to live.)

Yesterday, a new reader (well actually a reader who self-admittedly had been "lurking" around my site for a while) offered me this wonderful aspirational quote:

"Everyone I meet is in love with me. I just don't expect them to realize it yet."

Both quotes ring loud and clear to me today as I embark on this journey that fills me with excitement and a healthy dose of fear. I feel I am stepping into the great unknown and yet I know that I am ready to do this. I will take BOTH of these affirmations with me as I leave Seattle early tomorrow morning and fly east toward Paris. I will take them with me today as I enter into the world around me.

How about you? Do you realize what a marvel you are? Can you believe that everyone is in love with you?...they are just waiting to discover it. Au revoir!

painting by Pablo Picasso

two days to paris!!!!!

I think that travel comes from some deep urge to see the world, like the urge that brings up a worm in an Irish bog to see the moon when it is full. ~Lord Dunsany

lunar eclipse © h3images

Imagine...

If any one day had not been lived, how much different would I be? Less whole or more so? For some days have torn holes in my heart and others have penned indelible images into my soul. If any one moment had been skipped over or passed by, would I still be who I am today? Do we need all of the moments? I might guess ‘no’, but some are so defining they could not be missed.

It is kind of like the word ‘whole.’ Without a single letter, “w”, the word becomes ‘hole’ and indicates something empty or lacking or possibly waiting to be filled. Our life is filled with moments built and woven together like a fine tapestry comprised of death, divorce, marriage, birth, rebirth, life…repeated over and over in seemingly random patterns.

A moment…When does it become defining? When does the weight of a moment become irreversible? What times do children choose to remember? What are the moments I have chosen to hang onto? Why do some seemingly disappear from memory? Are they always with us? Lingering. Waiting. Forming. Shaping. Making up the wholeness of who we are?

So, what is wholeness? I see it as being fully and completely who we are at any given moment as best we can. Knowing that a moment in time can change a life forever, because the tapestry is always growing thread by thread.

So, what are the moments that have shaped you? What will you choose to do with the coming moments of your life…beginning right now?