Do they know who they will become?
Are they already there?
Pink crocs and purple cast, she floats
across the playground.
Will she be a nurse mending others or
the daredevil breaking bones?
Tiny son in his own blue crocs,
raises his voice to the sky.
Budding opera singer? Talk show host?
Perhaps a bellowing father.
Newborn babes & scampering tots,
mothers, fathers, aunties too.
Do they know who they will become?
Are they already there?
The merry-go-round spins
faster and faster.
Which moments of the blur will
stand in clarity?
Bell bottom jeans, peasant top
& flowing hair, she sits upon the campus wall.
Could she know who she would become?
Was she already there?
Perhaps it is middle age or psychotherapy that has me remembering moments of my past, but I continue to be fascinated by what I am learning about my life. Recent discoveries have led me to consider the "clues" to who I have become that were there all along the way. Are they already there?
Pink crocs and purple cast, she floats
across the playground.
Will she be a nurse mending others or
the daredevil breaking bones?
Tiny son in his own blue crocs,
raises his voice to the sky.
Budding opera singer? Talk show host?
Perhaps a bellowing father.
Newborn babes & scampering tots,
mothers, fathers, aunties too.
Do they know who they will become?
Are they already there?
The merry-go-round spins
faster and faster.
Which moments of the blur will
stand in clarity?
Bell bottom jeans, peasant top
& flowing hair, she sits upon the campus wall.
Could she know who she would become?
Was she already there?
The things I loved as a child (which I thought I had forgotten) are still the things I love today. My authentic tendencies (not necessarily those imposed upon me by others) have been with me from ages 5 to 15 to 50.
So, what do you think? Did you know who you would become? Were you already there? Can you see the clues that were there along the way?
photo from Paris, 2008
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10 comments:
This is a lovely verse. Although I may have had glimpses as a child of what I would become, at 52, I still don't know. The only thing I knew for sure is that I would be a wife and mother...everything else is still a big "?."
Wordsworth wrote that the child is father of the man. I recall that from a freshman English literature class and I hated Wordsworth! I certainly can see images of the adult me in my childhood pictures -- intense, dutiful, solitary, imaginative, independent. I don't know where the humour came in, but I am grateful for it.
Yes, yes, and YES!
There are things that have stuck with me, and things that I keep rediscovering over and over again...it seems (from my own perspective, at least) that others really DON'T want you to be authentic--certainly not when you're a child. There are always others warning you, dismissing you, insisting that they know best. It's a strong person who can maintain who they truly are for an entire lifetime.
But that's okay, because we can be strong NOW and we can remember who we are NOW. And we can live our lives as we want to from this moment on.
Wonderful poem of wondering, pondering, musing. . . :-) everything I love was there at age 4, I could never have known the precise shape of things to come, but the passion was kindled.
Recently it all came together in my life. That is, what "my purpose" is here and what I need to accomplish. Years ago a doctor in a small town told me and my parents that I was destined for greatness because of surviving an impossible medical situation. Over the years I have wondered and wondered and attempted different things that I thought was the purpose. NOT.
I have fought to live several times over the years because of complications of that long ago "situation" and have been able to keep a positive attitude. During my latest recovery, it hit me. I am destined to have the weirdest medical things go wrong and survive so that after my time here is over, my body can be studied to help others. I am so very fortunate that I KNOW my purpose. A very good friend told me, after I related this to him, that my friends are here to help me through. Thank you friends. Love to all. Kim
Lucy, love, love, love the poetry and the questions. So beautiful.
I had NO clue who I would become. Before we left the East Coast, I had begun my efforts to rekindle my young adult artistry - there were sketches and lots of positive feedback remarks written in journals and now in the last 9 years the artwork hangs on walls, the poetry has begun and is written (the poetry is a huge surprise) the faith in God's hand in my life is larger than ever. I'm happy/surprised with who and what I've/I'm becoming. I eager to continue learning, stretching and reaching out to all of the richness and opportunity that is coming my way!
your Parisian merry-go-round photo caught my attention
the apartment we stayed in while in Paris just after you was called Carrousel :-)
when seeking our authentic selves, the best place to start is our childhood memories, what resonated within us way back then, before life smacked us over the head and said to be "grown up" we had to let go of childish things...
Lucy, the inner self is not changing in the same way the body is. Awakening to the true self in an enlightenment experience goes back to early childhood. When I began spiritual direction in my 30's, which lasted about 17 years, I opened those experiences up fully to my director, a Sister of Charity, who kept them very safe and precious and untouched. Instead she simply lead me on paths that helped to illumine the nature of existence. The mystery of life remains the great unknown, and always will. I believe when we journey to the next world, existence will still be the greatest of mysteries and that is very wonderful!
Good post and thoughtful musings. Something I dwell on when you see and talk with people; and, when also thinking of my life's course.
"My authentic tendencies (not necessarily those imposed upon me by others)..." Powerful words there, Lucy. I've definitely been redefining and reconnecting with my authentic tendencies/self. (oftentimes, much to the chagrin of my family (not TB and kids, they wants the authentic. :))
love the carousel, a favourite thing from my childhood. :)
(and I still love horses...)
marisa--when i considered this for myself, i found myself so surprised at the traits that were already there - like people watching. i wonder if you loved playing house or feeding your dolls in preparation for wife and motherhood...
barbara--i love the woodsworth idea, although i would add "mother" in their too :-)
karen--long time no see, but you have certainly come back with a bang! i love what you've said. we can be strong NOW!
abbey--yes, the things we love have always been there just waiting for the kindling to light fire!!
kim--i don't know about the people you will help in the future but i know you have been a blessing for me in the past and present. and, yep, you have definitely survived and thrived from some very weird medical issues!! xoxoxo
SS--i love how you are finding those little seeds that were sewn so long ago. it is very fun to watch them sprout and grow! xoxo
kel--"to be "grown up" we had to let go of childish things..." whoever decided THAT was a good idea?!?!?!?
kigen--i, too, believe there is a spark inside of us that is pure and whole from the very beginning. part of our greatest challenge in life is to uncover what has always been and will always be there!
HGF--i had a wise person tell me that when people who think they know me start saying "you're not being yourself" then i'm probably on the right track :-)
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