Friday, August 27, 2010

Door #1, #2 and #3

“All truth is one rarefied yet earthly room, but our awareness often is outside. We need to open a particular door and go through its conditioning chamber, gradually preparing ourselves to be able to see and respond in the subtle, awesome, caressing light of that spacious room.” -- Tilden Edwards

As anyone who’s followed this blog for awhile knows, I’ve been stalked by crows, danced with dolphins and stepped into more than a few foreign lands. Today, I’m here to write about mysterious doors - doors (& gates) that have been intensifying their pursuit of me over the last week.

Sunday while preparing for the Eucharist at Camp Cross women’s retreat, I glanced in the chair I had randomly chosen and picked up a blank mandala left there. Curious, I turned over the page and read this mandala is called “Gates of Death”. It speaks of the stages of my own journey and offered these words:

“You may feel compelled to turn your back on your accomplishments, to forgo security, or to let go of the way things have been, and step through a gateway to a mysterious unknown. This commences a journey downward, into the depths of yourself.”

Oh my... when I read those words I began to laugh as my upcoming pilgrimage to the Sinai Desert came to mind. I showed them to my sis sitting to my left and we giggled like little girls who’d been let in on a wonderful secret. Just in case we’d forgotten there’s a mysterious power greater than all of us… the message came through loud and clear! I will call that Door #1.

Door #2 became boldly apparent yesterday afternoon during a group phone call with my life coach when I volunteered to assist with an exercise. I was called upon to describe the room in my house with which I’m least satisfied. For some “kooky” reason, I chose the closet in my office. As I described its contents – a mess of other people’s stuff I can’t get rid of – some good things I can’t get to – a little window that lets light in, but I can’t access it because the door’s usually closed – Tonya patiently repeated my words, took some notes and then posed the question, “What area of your life might this room represent?” I get chills even now and the words again infuse all the way through my body. “My writing,” I announced without hesitation. Again, Oh My!!

Tonya’s charge to me? Not to start writing, but to physically clean out that closet and see what happens next. Whew... that's what I call a step of faith. So, I have a date with my husband for this afternoon and we’re going to turn on some nice music, roll up our sleeves, maybe even dance a little as we clean behind Door #2.

You know there had to be at least one more. Door #3 peaked in on me yesterday, but I didn’t realize it until this morning. I’ve been working with a few new SoulCollage® cards I made last weekend and one more card insisted on coming into the mix. It’s one that’s been around for awhile, but I haven’t spent much time with it. So… after reading Tilden Edwards quote (above) during my morning quiet time, my mouth dropped open & the giggly feeling rose up when I realized what’s on that card – a woman sitting in front of a huge closed gate/door… And believe me when I say, she has a lot to talk about!!

For now, I'll close with these snapshots of doors 1, 2 and 3. It’s a good thing I’ve spent the summer becoming physically solvent, since it looks like there’s a lot of adventure and mystery waiting to be let into the light. I hope you’ll stick around and journey with me!!

How about you? Any doors in your life beckoning for attention? Are there rooms in your ‘house’ awaiting a face-lift? Me? I’m off to de-clutter and see what happens next!

a very scary door #2
'the gatekeeper' © lucy


Lucy Ladham-Dyment said...


Wow.... you have sparked a thought in my life - about your door and things in your life and being told to physically clean it out. You see, I was stuck for a while and cleaned out my bedroom - and it turns out that it is the left back corner of my home and someone told me about her - being told to clean that out in her place - and I had just cleaned mine out and stuff was starting to flow for me. Coincidence ?? I think not.... things are being pointed out to me - this time through your post. Thank you for posting.

This is my second post to you.

Sunrise Sister said...

Lucy -

Well, you already know that I had the chills along with you yesterday as we both heard and discussed the meanings that we keep locked behind doors - to the outside world we're looking neat and clean.......and mostly we are, but there are things that I've not addressed or gone straight forward into with confidence. Last night while viewing one of my favorite Grey's Anatomy episodes, I cleaned with ease the drawers of my immediate desk. When I completed them, I thought to myself - now why hadn't I done that sooner. It was like a weight was lifted from my mind/body - a new open space that could now be enjoyed and utilized to its fullest.

I started on my bedside drawers this a.m. - pretty simple there as I don't tend to trash up the bedside area......but as I traveled to the dresser, I found I have plenty of space that could be used to "uncrowd" the filled drawers - now why have I been "saving" those empty places and STUFFING the others? Oh, this is fun!

I'll look forward to hearing of your clearing out process!


Abbey of the Arts said...

well you know how much I love doors - great post (beautiful photo too)! blessings on all the doors beckoning you to cross their thresholds. love, C

Kel said...

there is powerful symbology in doors
i recently posted about a door that beckoned my attention

will be interesting to see what unfolds in your writing . . .

claire bangasser said...

Great post, lucy!

Your first gate reminds me of a book I read a long time ago: _Descent to the Goddess: A Way of Initiation for Women_, by Sylvia Brinton Perera. I can only remember that it had a great impact on me and led me into some of my scary shadowy parts.

Your second gate reminds me of my wardrobe and my wanting to give away all that I have in double (triple, and quadruple also of course).

Gate 3, I am not sure. I am working on a retreat for November and this has already taken me through many doors.

Years ago I lived in Seattle and could not wait to leave. Your collages and workshops make me wish I were still there :-)


Tess said...

Definitely a close correlation between physical and creative blockages.

Karen said...

Oh Lucy--this is sending chills down my spine! I'm so excited for you--shifts and growth seem to be arriving in your imminent future. Now I just want to go think about this--what doors and gates are in my life? What's coming??

Kayce aka lucy said...

lady lucy - i love when things come together for others when they read my words. i know i find confirmations and affirmations in some of the most unique places and ways.

thanks for stopping by - i realize it's # 2 :-)

Kayce aka lucy said...

SS - this cleaning and decluttering definitely holds its own unique magic!! friday was a non-stop purge - saturday ended up being 'family' day - and yesterday i went full tilt again digging into my bedroom closet (see today's post). i know my house has to weigh at least a couple hundred pounds lighter!!! so fun to have you alongside!! xoxoxo

Christine - i've always been drawn to doors too, so all of these coinciding thresholds of invitation leave me nearly breathless at times. xoxo

kel - i, too, will be interested to see what develops. after two full days of decluttering, hauling, cleaning, etc. writing sounds like a welcome break :-)

Kayce aka lucy said...

claire - oh i wish our paths had crossed when you were in seattle. it would be so fun to have you in a workshop. i'm adding some into the virtual world in the not-so-distant future. perhaps we can meet up there!

tess - i know there's a correlation, but why is it so easy to forget? i never would have dreamed this loaded closet might be holding me back from other things - especially when i keep the door closed tight and don't look in ;-)

karen - i'm with you on the "what's coming?" i don't even dare to guess!