Sunday, September 19, 2010

The Journey Has Already Begun

I am the one who sits and waits. Waiting for what? The pilgrimage? Today? Tomorrow? The Holy? The Sacred is already here. I sit in the shadows - in the space of waiting. The already and the not yet. My heart has turned to the desert. The journey has begun. The Sacred text written on every branch before me... still, I am curious about the shadows and what I do not and cannot already know.

I awakened today (& yesterday, too) wondering - What is wrong with me? Is something the matter? I leave for Egypt in two days and all I want to do is immerse myself in Instant Netflix offerings of Veronica Mars. It's almost a compulsion and I ponder - Am I avoiding or am I waiting or something entirely different?

I can't make myself read the history of St. Anthony (whose footsteps I will be following.) Instead I read the current Vanity Fair and the sad adventures of Lindsey Lohan. My heart breaks for the world around me AND I feel wrapped inside my own little cocoon. The journey has already begun.

"In each of us dwells a pilgrim. It is the part of us that longs to have direct contact with the sacred." - Phil Cousineau

How do you respond for the pilgrimage of life each day? Do you wait? Avoid? Jump in? What is your longing for contact with the sacred? Please, do tell!

Who knows whether I will return to this space before I depart for the desert? In case I don't, please know I will carry those I love with me (that includes you) and would cherish knowing a space is being held for me in your heart as I travel into the unknown. Peace and blessings, friends. Namaste.


claire bangasser said...

I read about your spending time on other things than your upcoming pilgrimage. And I wonder. You will have to tell us when you return.

When you walk to Santiago de Compostela, particularly when you walk for several weeks, but also for those who walk some days, you are told that the Camino begins in Compostela. And indeed, leaving Compostela to return home, you realize then the Camino is now'walking' you in a way.

So will it be the same with you with the desert? Will you come back with the desert within you forever talking to you and breathing through you?

Barbara said...

Claire has a good point. When asked on retreat what I got from the experience, I usually say that I won't know until I return.

I do recall that, when I was leaving for Japan, I was very emotional, rather anxious, half wondering if I would ever return. It was culturally alien, as the desert will be for you.

I will be thinking of you searching among the diamonds in the sky above the desert. Safe pilgrimage and may your contact with the sacred leave you changed forever.

Anonymous said...

Kayce......Blessings and Safe Journey. Perhaps you are not yet ready to fill up your inner spaciousness until you are in the desert wide open spaces. Perhaps you are just passing this time with things of a superficial nature so you will be ready to delve deep. I look forward to hearing about your adventures. Namaste. Pamela

claire bangasser said...

I realize I forgot to wish you a wonderful pilgrimage. More wonderful than you can even imagine.

I believe Cousineau says that the more prepared we are, the better a pilgrimage turns out. I also think that the more open to the experience, the better it is.

I have no doubt that every bit of it will be fantastic.


Anonymous said...

So many heart-felt wishes for you, Lucy! Mine are wholeheartedly added to the basket of blessings to take with you. My heart travels with you and yearns for the sacred with you. Know you are accompanied by the multitudes who love you now and the throng who has gone before you. I know your sandals are off, ready to put your feet on sacred ground!
Love, Cheryl

Karen said...

I see you as holding the space...waiting for what's to come...I will be thinking of you during your journey...

Dianna Woolley said...

Dear Lucy -

As we travel apart, yet together, I pray for our openness to God's words, for our curiosity and wonder at the awesomeness of this planet upon which we live. It is indeed so exciting, so unbelievablely happening after our long talks about these, our journeys. Certainly we will no doubt be the SCS women in any environment - whether cruise liner or camel back:))