Saturday, January 24, 2009

Language of Letting Go

“Today I will begin the process of letting go of all self-defeating feelings and beliefs connected to past relationships. I will clear my slate so I am free to love and be loved.” - Melody Beattie

This process of healing is long and hard – just like the process of being hurt. It is not just one grand instance – perhaps that would be easier and quicker to forgive. It is instead death by a thousand pinpricks so small in the moment that they might not be noticeable at all, but added together over years and years of time, they create a gaping hole that may seem impossible to fill. However…nothing is impossible. It may take more than this lifetime – perhaps not – but it will take diligence. One tiny dot at a time covering over the hole – patching it sometimes with the size of a needle’s eye and other times with big scoops and shovels full. Each time by letting go a little more, the gaping hole is healed.

If one sets one's mind to not forgive, the hole will remain jagged and deep, but if we open ourselves to forgiveness and grace – to gratitude for what we have received – the light will begin to fill the darkness.

Today, I tossed handfuls of fertile soil into the hole. I chose to look her in the face. I opened the door just a little bit more toward forgiveness. Little by little we are being healed; just as little by little, we were harmed. Happy Birthday, Daisy!


thymekeeper said...

This is the "Season of Forgiveness" in our community, begun by the Symphony. Churches, libraries, various groups are offering music, classes, lectures, dialogues ~ a delightful mix for all walks and needs. I'm participating in a wonderful class that has come at an important thyme in my life. It is as you speak of: requiring diligence, filling in the hole one speck at a thyme, and placing our hope on the side of light. Thank you for your words.

Anonymous said...

moving words lucy. So often I think I am healed when something happens to remind me of the presence of those wounds. It is indeed a slow journey.

Anonymous said...

I think you put it very nicely, ourselves to forgiveness and grace. Don't force it or say no to it. Also don't have to beat myself up for not having achieved it yet, just leave ourselves open to it. It will take time. Thanks for saying that today

hmmbrd said...

Forgiveness feels never ending as does healing. you offer beautiful words to the process of this... like breathing in and out. feeling the pain, forgiveness (to self and others), healing.. over and over... might as well let it happen!

Anonymous said...

This is lovely. Your description of the healing process seems to me like the pointillism method of painting - thousands of small dots making up the full colour and scope of the painted image. Eventually there are enough dots for us to see the complete picture.

Dianna Woolley said...

"the light will begin to fill the darkness."


Kayce aka lucy said...

thymekeeper - i love the idea of a "season of forgiveness"...seems like that could always be in season, huh?

C--oh yea, those little reminders pop up at the darndest times, don't they?

thanks, patty. nice to see you here!

hummingbird--it really does feel like breathing in and out lots of the time & fighting it doesn't seem to help. always love your words!

tess--i love how you have likened this process to those paintings. very similar indeed!

thanks, SS

Karen said...

Letting go--so hard, so freeing...

I've been doing the Ho'oponopono method of cleansing lately. I don't know if you're familiar with it, but it's the belief that we are responsible for everything in our life, and to "cleanse" it, we say "I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you." You're not so much saying this to what's bugging you, as to the part in you that attracted this thing that's bugging you. It's become my mantra--and it's really helped in healing and letting go.

Because oh how I long for freedom!

Anonymous said...

I love seeing your work and you always have such amazing words/thoughts to go with.
Forgivness..such a HUGE ideal.

Kayce aka lucy said...

hi karen--i was not familiar with the Ho'oponopono method, but it sounds quite intriguing. letting go is really one of the key steps to forgiveness, huh? my main problem is that i seem to find ways to take it back once i've let go...but i'm working on it :-)

andie--so, glad you continue to stop by. thanks for your encouraging words! you live in seattle, right?