Saturday, May 30, 2009

enCouragingBliss: What would you sacrifice?

What do you want? What do you really need? What would make your soul burst into the flower, into the universe that it was born to be? And what are you willing to sacrifice to get there? These are questions posed by BlissChick on her latest post: enCouragingBliss: What Would you Sacrifice?

Pondering these questions, I sat down with pen and paper and this is what poured out: What do I want? What do I need? I want my family to be healthy and whole. I am one of the lucky ones. I do not have to worry about whether or not there is enough food on the table or where we will sleep at night. If my children want to go to college, we could make that happen.

I have the house – the car – the life that many people dream of having and I am VERY grateful. I have made choices – even sacrifices – along the way. We live in the “starter home” we bought 20 years ago. It is more than enough. We chose to live our life on one income. It has been a good income. Like I said, I don’t have to worry about much. Still I ponder…what do I want? need?

I want the freedom to go for a walk in the sunshine – to put pen to paper – to watch my children reach adulthood. I would sacrifice my life for my children, but I will not sacrifice my living – my bliss. To live means to explore the depths of my heart – to experience joy which can come from something as simple as rolling in the grass with friends - to feel sorrow so deep that breaking glass or throwing rocks in the ocean is all that can suffice.

In regard to material things - I repeat - I have been very fortunate. In addition to the house – the car – the children, I have an advanced education, access to books and music. I could attend opera, plays, visit museums and other cultural events if I so desire. Still, I come back to the simple things. Watching a child play in the park. Scratching a few words into my $2 composition notebook. Walking hand in hand with my husband to watch a sunset after a day’s work.

In light of the economy and life’s uncertainties I take none of these things for granted. I return to the questions: What do I want? What do I need?

I need connection with people – with nature – with God – with myself. A roof over my head which I have imagined as a motor home of simple means or a lean-to on a Mexico beach. Basic food – rice, beans, veggies & fruit.

What would I sacrifice? How do I begin to name sacrifice? BlissChick calls it “sacred and holy choosing.” Holy choice. I believe I make holy choices every day. Will I spend time with God or will I sit down and veg out in front of the tv? Will I expand my work to help others or will I focus only on me? Will I fix a meal with love for my family or drive through a fast food restaurant and fill my body with toxins?

Yes, I have a choice. I have the means to drive my car and purchase food. Still I hope I am making conscious choices to live my bliss. Bliss knows that creating art with crayons and scratch paper can be as powerful as traveling to Paris to visit the Louvre – that spaghetti with loved ones is more important than dining at a 5-star restaurant alone – that riding the bus will give me as much contentment as touring the country in my convertible.

I know I have these choices. I have worked hard to have them. I work to hold onto the choice. I have lost friends and social status because of my choices. It is not easy choosing to be different. I have been considered “whacko” or “out there” because I navel-gaze and consider my bliss. I would go to the wall for authentic connections. I would sacrifice much – all – anything for the three most important relationships in life: God, Others & Myself.

Thanks BlissChick for asking these questions. So, what do you really need and what are you willing to sacrifice to get there?


Anonymous said...

LUCY!!!! Great post! I contemplated your post this morning on my walk...What do I really need and what am I willing to sacrifice to get there? With the recent leaving of the last bird (child #3) from the nest I find I really need to just have more FUN!! I find myself world wery of orchistrating people's lives both at work and home. I have 'retired' from active parenting...what a relief!! I hope to just play! I guess this means I get to sacrifice my self important role of telling those around me what would be 'best' for them! I realize what would be best from them is just me being joyful and playful! It would be great if some of my soltura sisters would come and join me! Love, Pamela

Abbey of the Arts said...

Great questions blisschick asks, and I love her definition of sacrifice. And this line of yours was great -- "I would sacrifice my life for my children, but I will not sacrifice my living."

As for me,there is a lot I have let go of over the years to live a life I love. But mostly I think my struggle continues to be a sacrificing of those inner voices that hold me back or cause me self-doubt. They continue to get sent to the altar in the service of deep joy and offering the world my gifts. xoxoxox

Anonymous said...

Oh, Abbey of the Arts hits the nail on the head -- those VOICES. Yes. I love this image of getting sent to the altar with them. Oh, I could work with that! :)

And Lucy, how lucky we are to be whackos! :)

roxanne s. sukhan said...

A very thought-provoking post. To live means realising that we have a choice.

Kayce aka lucy said...

hey pammie--great to see you. i have missed your presence here!!! "what would be best from them is just me being joyful and playful!" sounds like a winning situation for everyone involved. i would absolutely LOVE to play with you, sister :-)

C--dang those inner censors...oh wait, i'm not supposed to be upset with them, i'm supposed to listen to what they have to teach me. dang! (oops did it again :-)

BlissChick--it feels like we head to the altar in little ways through these conversations, huh? so glad to know i'm not the only whacko out there...i keep thinking of kermit the frog: "it's not easy being green."

tinkerbell--choice - as long as i can remember that, living becomes much more peaceful or settled - not necessarily easier.

Karen said...

This is one of those blog entries that's impossible to breeze through. I need to go back and reread it a few more times, ponder the questions, ponder the implications raised...I have no other response.

I can always count on you to encourage me to dig deep, and then to dig a little deeper still...

Brett said...

Beautiful and inspirational. Simple and profound. I feel our separation. We are that, in this moment. Tears here. And gratitude.

Kayce aka lucy said...

karen--digging deeper sounds like you're working in the garden :-) hmmmm.

brett--thank you deeply.