Saturday, March 26, 2011

Fierce Warrior

“How are you called to be fierce in your commitment to…?” (This question posed by Abbey of the Arts Lenten Retreat)

I am a fierce warrior. This I know to be true. Nonetheless, I have a hard time understanding how other people see me because of conflicting messages. Shy – the label of my childhood. Bitch – the critical murmurs that followed me as I learned to stand up for myself and set appropriate boundaries. Peaceful. Contemplative. Mean. Brilliant. Crazy.

There have been times in life when making a controversial decision has taken all the strength and courage I could muster. It was terrifying and it was absolutely the right thing to do. To walk away from someone or something you love is the hardest thing in the world. Agonizing. Painful. True. Even harder is to step back in when your heart’s been broken. Rewards beyond our wildest imagination beckon us forward. Risk of rejection looms with infinite magnitude.

We reject ourselves all the time out of fear. I can’t do that… I could never… When we hear those words coming out of our mouths – beware! Especially when they sound like: My child would never.. I’ll never allow… This is just the way life is… Absolutes get us into trouble most of the time. Words like: I can’t or I won’t are rigid and stifle our growth and creative movement. They also push us away from what we are authentically called to do and be. They leave us passive and without choice or responsibility.

I daily choose to step into the places that scare me. I’m not frozen with fear to do the hard or unpopular things especially if it will benefit another’s growth (or my own). There is a Hindu mudra called Abhaya. It is a gesture asserting power and giving peace at the same time. The Buddah is said to have quelled a rampaging elephant with this simple gesture. In it I see both compassion and fight. So, as I fill-in-the-blank to the above question, my answer becomes Compassion. I am called to be fierce in my commitment to compassion for myself and the world. Finding compassion in the fight, and fight in the compassion. Yes, I am a fierce warrior.

And you? Where are you called to be fierce in your commitment?

(btw-this post is my scary thing today...)


kate i said...

Hi Kayce, I had just last night written about the warrior energy and how it's needed for the committment to our journey...which I'll probably post in the next few days. Interesting synchronicity!

Abbey of the Arts said...

I love this, so perfectly in alignment with my own reflections this morning. Thanks for the synchronistic support friend and may your fierce compassion continue to bring transformative juiciness.

Kel said...

as i was reading this the thought flitted across my mind that you were showing your warrior colours in being willing to stand and meet this thing head on, even though it was probably scary

and then i read your bracketed btw at the end :-)

so much of what you share here resonates for me, but am feeling a bit battle weary
thanks for letting me rest under the shade of your compassion flags

Kayce aka lucy said...

kate and christine - so cool to see this synchronicity. that's a lot of warrior energy coming together!!! xo

claire bangasser said...

It is so beautiful that you are fierce in your commitment to compassion :-) Bravo lucy.

Anonymous said...

Pema Chodron speaks about training to be a compassionate warrior in her book "The Places that Scare You". If you haven't read it, I recommend it.

Tess said...

Well done for posting your scary thing today! I think you're right that when we deal with absolutes we're in trouble. I also think there's a different problem with the subtleties of life that emerge when we reject the fear of the absolutes: that it can then be more difficult to discern the way forward.

Dianna Woolley said...

I choose the words - "I can and I will" - such lovely words release fear and doubt for me. "Fearless, creative, energized" my 2011 mantra continue to support my daily living. This post is great!


Kayce aka lucy said...

oh, i am loving all the fierce warriors joining me here!! xo