Wednesday, March 25, 2009

in times of transition...

I am facing a time of transition and it is coming fast. It is exciting and terrifying. Spaciousness abounds and yet I know that having boundaries to bump against has been essential in my growth.

“It is true that we are called to create a better world. But we are first of all called to a more exalted task: that of creating our own lives.” Thomas Merton – A Book of Hours
“(Relationship with Christ) beckons us to examine and question the structures around which we have shaped our lives – relationship, family, work, everything – so that we may discern whether they serve as containers that offer spaciousness to be who God created us to be or whether they confine and stifle us.” Jan Richardson - Garden of Hollows

Morning prayer: Oh, Lord how can I begin to doubt that you exist – are present – that you rule? (Even though those words “you rule” grate against my very soul.) Still, I know you are here. I feel your presence and guidance. Gently. Kindly. Boldly, you lead me. You allow me to lead where you want to go. Amen.

---now if I can just figure out where that is!

"flying over iceland" 3.08

12 comments:

blisschick said...

I believe; help me in my disbelief...

One of my most frequent mantras! :)

May your discernment prove fruitful.

And I LOVE that photo. Breathtaking.

SUNRISE SISTER said...

"You rule" in reference to God - for me that's a big relief....hey, God, whatever happens, it's your doing (I only tried to help:)....

Ponder away - it gives us all reason to bring up our own doubt and conviction!

Barbara said...

Today is the feast of the Annunciation to celebrate the angel Gabriel inviting Mary to participate in the Incarnation. What struck me in the reading was how perplexed and disoriented she was. I could relate to that. She maintained her self-esteem and asked how exactly this would all take place. It gives us all a good example to follow as we stumble along.

Tess said...

You will 'figure it out'.

lucy said...

hey blisschick--your mantra is quite appropriate and one i actually considered including in this post. thanks for the well wishes!

SS--there's something in that terminology that reminds me of a puppeteer which i do not believe God is...

did no one catch my phrase..."You allow me to lead where you want to go." i think that's how i "help" along the way...putting one foot in front of the other, etc.

barbara--thank you for pointing out this celebration day of the annunciation. i went to a program just before christmas and very much enjoyed considering how mary responded to all of the "good news." maybe i'll go back and peak at my notes now.

tess--all in good time :-)

SUNRISE SISTER said...

Hey Lucy, the smiley face at the end of my comment meant it was a tongue in cheek remark - not a serious reply to God. I do NOT think God is a puppeteer in any sense of the word.

I did catch your phrase "you allow me to lead where you want to go".....is that like a puppy on a leash......OR are you, the same as I, occasionally working out the fact that the freedom we perceive is ours to walk our own paths is tremendously guided by how much our faith, heart and mind actually does or does not listen to God's directions and desires for our life's work?

xoxo

Karen said...

Figuring it out can be the fun part...you'll get there! And I love that photo, too!

Gabriella Moonlight said...

Beautiful post and picture, thank you for sharing your journey and prayer with us!! Wow!

hmmbrd said...

Oh my! freefalling time! this is a hard place to be, lucy. I am picturing you and me and probably many of your readers falling through a clear blue sky, catching each others eye as we fall (or are we flying?), nodding, waving. We've either jumped or have fallen, but either way, it's nice to see the others there. Yes.. we are all hoping there is a God pillow at the bottom, but can't be completely sure about that. Just really hoping!

lucy said...

SS--i think we may be having one of those moments where mind-reading and writing interpretation are translating less than perfectly :-)

"you rule." is what gets me stuck (and reminds me of puppeteer), not your words.

re: "you allow me to lead where you want to go"...it is more a feeling i have than something i am willing to commit to either/or. it shifts and moves and becomes part of my internal knowing that i am not alone in the walk. sometimes i am a light hearted puppy. othertimes i am a bull-headed dog charging my own way. sometimes i totally relax (let go and let god) and others i get riled up by words like 'you rule.' it is a very fluid walk with an ever-changing leash :-) how much sense does that all make? xoxoxo

lucy said...

karen--"there" is a very elusive place and most days i am really ok with that. it certainly beats worrying about something i cannot control :-)

gabriella--always nice to see you here! thanks for commenting.

hmmbrd--you are such a beautiful writer. i would love to see more. so glad we are in this together and i have wonderful images of bouncing, laughing and giggling together on that giant "god pillow."

namaste.

SUNRISE SISTER said...

Hi Lucy - thanks for the explanation re your post, my comment, your comment, my comment:) I got it - so much for communication.

We suffer with communication errs here in this household "occasionally" and I see that I'm equally as good in public.

And your response to the puppy leash, etc. is one that makes very good sense!

xoxo