Sunday, April 12, 2009

coming out

I awoke this morning feeling risen and ready to bloom. I believe it is no coincidence that today is Easter. Those old critical and conservative voices in my head spoke of sacrilege…How can you proclaim yourself “risen” on the same day as Christ? But, isn’t that what Easter is about? The new risen self. The death of old ways and rising to who God has created us to be. Believe me, I do not take the Easter story lightly. I am indeed honored to “come out” on this holiest of days. It is through Christ’s example that I am offered the courage and strength to follow my passion. So here goes…

Hello. My name is Kayce and I’m a writer. Whew! There, I’ve said it. For those of you who are confused, I am also lucy. My work is loving the world. My passion is helping others and myself move toward more authentic and fulfilling lives. For several months now I have been aware that living this dualistic existence of lucy in the blogosphere and Kayce in the “real” world is some how discordant with the wholeness I seek.

It gets a little tricky, however, because I am also a psychotherapist who has various ethical considerations and boundary guidelines to uphold and respect. The issue of self-disclosure is where things can get a little messy. Should my clients know that I struggle and have bad days? Dare I let them discover that I don’t have it all figured out? What if they find out that I am – gasp – human?

After considerable pondering, I keep coming back to the notion of authenticity. I just cannot hide here anymore. It feels important to “come out.” I’m not sure how or if it will change what this space looks like or what I share. Be assured that lucy is not going anywhere for now! (She is after all the muse. If you haven't yet scrolled down the sidebar and read "Who is lucy?", I invite you to do that soon.) I hope bringing the two of us together will only enrich these offerings. There is lots of transition going on for me as I have recently posted. More details will follow in the coming weeks.

Please join me today in celebrating the wonder of Easter; the beauty of coming out; and my 500th post at Diamonds in the Sky with Lucy!!!

Peace to you, friends.

With love, lucy aka Kayce


Hope said...

What a beautiful photo of you! So nice to put a face with the name.
I always feel better about me when someone else shares their humanity with me. It helps me know I'm not alone as I journey. Maybe your clients will feel the same? I have no idea. Just some thoughts.

Barbara said...

Opening to new life is a good Easter-spirited thing to do. Congratulations on the doing right and being right of things and on your 500th post, Kayce (aka lucy).

Les (Endlessly Restless) said...


I admire the courage and integrity that it has taken for you to come out. I think that Easter's a fine time to celebrate a new, shared life!

I've also been pondering the moral ambiguity of my anonymous(ish) blog - but I haven't reached a conclusion about breaking out yet.

Congratulations on hitting the 500 as well. Your entries are always interesting, insightful, challenging and thought-provoking... so I'm looking forward to reading the next 500.

Happy Easter to you and yours.

Danny said...

As someone with an anonymous(ish) blog... congrats on breaking out! Nice photo too :-)

I had the dilemma recently of whether to 'come clean' about my blog (and link it up to my church website) ... but after much thought I decided not to. Mainly because being Danny when I blog marks the blog as my personal space for reflection and I like that 'me' space.

Tess said...

Lots of love to you on this Easter day Kayce/Lucy. (I think it helps they have the same sound.)

What a fabulous post for you to 'come out' with. I'd say it was life-affirming if that didn't sound a tad pretentious!

And as I'm privileged to have met you in 'real' life too, I can say to others that the photo really does capture all your warmth and humanity. And your lovely smile.

Abbey of the Arts said...

Gorgeous photo Kayce! Looks just like you too. :-) What a delight to discover this on Easter day knowing a little bit of the process behind it. Sharing your risen self moves me into the resurrection more deeply.

roxanne s. sukhan said...

What a lovely photo! Congrats on your 500th post. Wishing you a lovely easter day.

Country Parson said...

As for your clients discovering that you are just human, you might want to read my post tomorrow. I have something to say about that.

Anonymous said...

Welcome Kayce. It is is wonderful to have a face and a name.

Looking forward to your next 500!

thymekeeper said...

Kayce and Lucy, You've given us an Easter gift! Authenticity, honesty, grace (which abounds!), a beautiful image to pair with your name, and an invitation for us to consider "coming out" and being more fully who we have been created to be. Thank you! May the blessings of this Easter season continue to unfold and multiply for you!

Sue said...

Awesome, Kayce :)

You HAVE to be a writer with your name. Such a GREAT writer's name :)

Unknown said...

Kayce you are marvelous and what a beautiful post to end my day with, as I get ready to go to bed tonight I think of the courage it takes to "come out" and just be ourselves and be human in the world...I thank you and honor your ocurage, and congratulations on 500 posts!!! Wow!


Kate I said...

Kayce, what a lovely photograph of your beautiful smiling face! I understand your dillema about coming out and being authentic. Although I'm "out there" in the blogoshpere, I often hope some of my family members will forget that I have a blog! My openess about discussing difficult times in my life is hard for them to understand and although I'm cautious not to reveal details, there is still a hard core belief (with some family members) that I shouldn't be so open.

On the other hand...this is just who I am and if I can't be authentic at this stage in my life, then when?

I so agree with Gabriella who says in her comment that "it takes courage to just be ourselves and be human in the world".

Congratulations on your 500th post. What a milestone for you, in so many ways!

Dianna Woolley said...

Well, what a wonderful way for me to close this glorious day. Reading your post - Resurrection and Rebirth - all in one day - who could ask for more?

My spouse asked me several times today if I'd read your post and I kept managing to sidetrack myself either upstairs or downstairs and finally he insisted! I AM SO HAPPY TO READ THIS POST - it is so beautiful and so authentic. It comes from the heart of a gifted writer that really has no need to appear other any other guise than her own. Lucy is charming but Kayce is the real deal!.....and the photo, well, I see so MANY familiar faces shining out from under that smile! Beautiful, if I do say so myself:)


Kayce aka lucy said...

dear & lovely commenters - this is better than a birthday post, although i guess in a way it is a new birth, huh? i wanted to share the words penned earlier today as i listened to beth nielsen chapman hymns, surrounded by lit candles, falling rain and beautiful words from and by each of you.

(christine @ abbey of the arts penned the first half of this sentence, i, the second.)

"and so the sky pours out its tears this morning, while also washing the world clean and saturating the earth with a drink of living water" i sit with tears of gratitude for friends and souls around the world who share their struggles and beauty with me.

thank you for offering me sips of your living water on this resurrection sunday. peace & love.

Dianna Woolley said...

P.S. Congratulations on the 500 mark - impressive and inspiring!


hmmbrd said...

Let your lovely face shine! great going, Kayce.

Rich Sclafani said...

lovely and as always, but now even more so, very authentic! you are loved!

Karen said...

Congratulations lucy...uh, I mean Kayce. There are so many levels here to celebrate--so much that you've accomplished! It feels like your happiness is seeping through the internet.

Brett said...


A new birth, indeed! Thank you for helping me see me. Your willingness to lean into the sharp edges is an inspiration. You are a way-shower. And thank you...again.


Anonymous said...

Kayce, It seems that many of us are having similar (though not the same, of course) revelations over this Lenten season about being utterly and fully ourselves with the rest of the world. :)

Congrats on the 500 posts.

Thank you for sharing your beautiful smile with us.

(And thank you, too, for the perfect, right-on comment on my gun post. It is good to be so heard.)

Unknown said...

I love it when someone of an educated background seen through the eyes of "laypersons" honors their humanity by including themself openly among those they also seek to offer a hand. Though the genre you work in has a long history of false pride attached to it, there is also the genuine desire to assist others in emotional turmoil and the interesting fact I find the most explanatory when considering the choice of your path can be found in the elegant expression.."the best therapists are those who are in therapy". This saying has long been one of my favorites for I too am a therapist though my title is more wiccan than medical....
Glad to discover your site. I tagged it off Sorrow's who I find to be a lovely thought filled wonder.


SagaciousHillbilly said...

Wow, coming out right here on the innernet! Amazing. But, gosh, what if your clinets find out you are "gasp-human." Will your ego survive?
Perhaps you should take it all back or risk no being able to save your world of walking wounded. . . that would be tragic.

l.b. said...

you are beautiful to behold kayce ... beautiful. and thank you for what you've shared here ... so openly. lucy/kayce ... i'll take em both!

congratulations on 500+ posts here. i experience your writing in much the same way as i think i would experience you if we were hang'n out together ... real, approachable, honest, animated.

Kayce aka lucy said...

i continue to be so honored by the wonderful responses here. you are each a blessing to me.

laure - my hope is indeed to be "real, approachable, honest, animated." thank you for seeing me well :-)

Gabrielle said...

Congratulations on everything! (500th post, your authenticity, a renewal, your decision...) I think you went with both your gut feeling and your discernment, and I'm sure everything will be just fine re your clients. It's hard to live split in two, and I've thought quite a bit lately too about whether it's really necessary; and also,for someone like yourself, who has published and will probably publish again, I think you've made the right decision. And what a beautiful photo. Congrats again!

Kel said...

somehow I missed this . . .
it must have been the week that I pressed delete on all my blog feeds :)

Kayce, it's a pleasure to meet you, although following your blog - and having enjoyed a Parisian adventure almost at the same time last year - I feel I already know the real you a little

isn't it interesting that so many of us, myself included, blog totally or partially anonymously, so we can feel free to be 'real'

funny thing is, we all know/knew you are a writer, but we are so glad that you have now named yourself as such :)

as one who has been blessed by your writing, caring, soulful creative expressions on this blog

thank you - for being scared, but willing to name yourself anyway

it is a gift that we will hold with tenderness

Kayce aka lucy said...

gabi--thank you for your support and congrats!!

kel--i could feel your heartfelt words clear across the ocean. so, glad you took another peak and found this post AND commented. i'm feelin' all warm inside. :-)

storyteller said...

MARVELOUS ... perhaps some day I'll join you and introduce MY real self. My hats off to YOU!
Hugs and blessings,