Saturday, August 01, 2009

Voiceless Chick - part 2

There is something really incredible about using the arts to break open areas of our life that might otherwise remain stuck in our heads. When I consider Voiceless Chick, I can give you all sorts of psychological reasons about why she is in my life – and they are highly evolved assessments...just ask me ☺. So, one might think that with all of that knowledge, I could keep VC from showing up. Unfortunately it’s not quite that simple. The understanding is helpful and as I mentioned yesterday, I realize it is important for me to listen when my stuck chicks show up.

The beauty of using arts such as collage, journaling and poetry to help process is that they give us a view from a new angle. (Right brain. Left brain. You know the drill.) I have been using Julia Cameron’s morning pages for more than five years now. Some days they feel like drivel and other times if I stick with it I find words flowing out that were buried deep inside. Often they feel otherworldly as though a Source greater than I is writing.

If I follow the process, there is often a visible shift in the voice in which I write. This happened while contemplating VC. The portion I shared yesterday was written in first person. The continuation shared here has a shift to second person.

You are just a little girl.
Close your eyes and breathe.
Listen to your inner voice.
It is strong and clear.
Listen and calm yourself with
your inner voice of authority.

My hand is here.
You are safe.
I hear your pleas.
Yes, my child,
You have a voice.
A voice within you that you and
I can hear.

You are not crazy.
You will not disappear.
You are made of light.
Pure light.
Lucy of the light.

Yes, they may talk and
whisper behind your back, but
You have a voice.
You have reclaimed it.
You can be calm in the midst of this storm.
Your voice is valid.

You have hands to reach down and
take the gag from your mouth.
You have tools.
Inner strength and authority.
You have me to help you speak.
I spoke and you listened.

So, what do you make of this? Do you think I need to be committed to a mental hospital since I am hearing voices? Or is this something to which you can relate? How do the arts play into your spiritual walk? Who might be your stuck chicks waiting to receive a voice?

partial collage by lucy 7.31.09


Barbara said...

Your other post somehow did not connect, but this one did. I relate to that timid little girl's voice inside me. I have a photo of myself as a little girl with a huge rake in my hands to remind me of that put-upon girl, far too often stuck in the corner and quiet. I draw her when I am on retreat and I can see how she develops through the week. My directors are amazed at what I say in those pictures.
I cannot be me, fully, without that little, quiet girl running free. My calligraphy gives her chance to play and be astounded by what she creates. The harpy, old Parent Voice can be ultra critical, so I have to keep her corked.
Incidentally, years and years ago, in deep prayer, my voice became very soft and childlike, if someone spoke to me. Coincidence? I don't think so.

Tess said...

I was about to comment on your post yesterday when I saw your own response there mentioning that this second part is up.

To me, contrary to what Barbara says, the first person voiceless chick connected with me more. I think it was that style of writing which gave it more power for me, especially the lines "...hope it will all go away. But I am the one who starts to disappear." That has great resonance.

I've been considering BlissChick's original post on this for a few days and wondering who my own voiceless chick is. Often these things come to me quite instinctively, but this is silent, which probably has it's own messages.

Like Barbara, I was a timid child and perhaps something to explore there in my lack of reaction to your words today. I do tend to turn away from things relating to children.

I'm also feeling some anger at this navel-gazing, which is probably another clue.

Bloody endless, isn't it, this unravelling of self!! ;-)

Anonymous said...

OH! I think this second person post is a VERY important step in the process. I mean, these StuckChicks by their very nature are of our past and so it makes sense to talk TO them since we are no longer them. (Did I just ramble?!?!)

But to speak to them and tell them it's okay -- that is key to the healing. That is why they still exist, for goodness sake -- they have not been heard. Voiceless or not!

Lucy of the light, indeed. :)

And as Tess says -- yes, the continual unraveling...aren't we blessed to be AWAKE to this work? It's hard but so much better than the alternative. And I think it's simply never ending, which is not to be a downer but to say "we're all okay...this is the whole point of life!"

Kel said...

the only people who should be committed to mental hospitals are those who claim they never hear voices ;-)

creative arts play a huge part in my spiritual walk - as you mentioned, it has a way of busting through the left brain logic to the right brain wisdom

Sue said...

This brought tears to my eyes Lucy, the combination of yesterday and today's, the tenderness with which you speak to her.

I'm with Tess, too. The lines "...hope it will all go away. But I am the one who starts to disappear."

Thanks for sharing.

His Girl Friday said...

thanks for the link to Bliss chick, puts it all together.

I've thought about this before, the old/negative self talk versus positive self talk and attaching it to a positive memory. Sorry, hard to explain here...but I think similar in concept to the 'chicks'. Another something to (good) think about/ponder on today! :D

Kayce aka lucy said...

barbara--thank you for sharing those images of your little girl. i also can relate to those "harpy, old parent voices" and pause to consider what is going on when they show up. our little girls do love running free, don't they?

tess--oh you do have clues popping up all over the place, huh? i hope you choose not to be angry at them and to simply decide when and if you want to do a little more gazing (navel gazing, that is :-) xoxo

christine--we are indeed blessed to be awake...and at times it does get a bit annoying. what do they say "ignorance is bliss"? hmmmmm. i'll choose awake over numb any day--even when it's hard!

love your words of "speaking to"...that was a connection i had never distinctly made. so glad we're all in this together.

kel--"the only people who should be committed to mental hospitals are those who claim they never hear voices ;-)" bravo!! it reminds me of working with students and not being able to pass them because they don't get it...the thing is if they "got it" they would be passing. so, i guess as long as we think we're crazy, we're probably not. ah, the paradox continues!!

sue--i am so delighted for you to hear tenderness in my voice. it has taken a long time to move from the angry, spiteful voices for myself to that place of kindness. i can be kind to the most horrible people and then be terribly rude to myself...that's when my little girl really feels unsafe & starts to disappear!!!

Kayce aka lucy said...

btw--tess, sue et al...if you look closely at the full collage (1st post), there is a woman on the right who is either disappearing or turning into light, depending on how you choose to look :-)

HGF--happy pondering!!

Brett said...

Your voiceless chick surely beats out those crazy cartoon Chick Tracts. ;^)

Anonymous said...

Lucy, I am the silent reader of your lovely blog, the little girl on the playground who thought she was the only one in the world without a voice. When I read of Voiceless Chick the other day it reminded me of some of the work I have done through therapy, journaling, etc. I was inspired to try art, especially collage, to give voice to Voiceless Chick in me. Thank you thank you! I think the key for me is in your last comment, "I can be kind to the most horrible people, then be terribly rude to myself." This turns me into Angry Chick and that is not a pretty picture. Until I learn to blog more professionally, I will let my Voiceless Chick tell you how I enjoy your posts...through comments. I have no alter ego name yet, but I am a friend from your recent class.

Kayce aka lucy said...

yikes, brett...i had to google the chick tracts.

anonymous--thank you so much for bringing your voice here. i don't want to sound like a commercial, but i thought of this when i read your comment. i am offering a workshop october 3 that will include collage, writing & music to help uncover our voiceless chicks. i would love for you to join us!! peace.

Dianne said...

Hm . . . visiting here from abbey of the arts and so glad i stopped by. yes this post resonated with me. i'll have to give this some more thought; i'm sure my stuck-chick has a face and a name too. and yes, i hear voices too!! learning to listen to them and ask myself the questions that need to be asked.

i've been blessed; i'll be back!

Anonymous said...

i saw your information about the workshop on Oct 3 and will plan to come if i can. i'm already checking my calendar. it sounds like something the universe just presented to me and i'm enthused.

Kayce aka lucy said...

dianne--i am blessed by your presence here and enjoyed visiting your space and catching a glimpse of you. you are welcome here anytime!!


Gabrielle said...

Congratulations on having done the morning pages for five years now! I so want to stick with it (this is my second attempt). Am getting the Artist's Way and the Workbook for my twenty-something niece for her upcoming birthday. Have really been enjoying the Workbook this spring/summer. Very revealing (and often rather emotional)...

Kayce aka lucy said...

gabrielle--my morning pages have definitely shifted over the years and i don't do them every day, but if i miss three days in a row i can totally feel it. my clarity decreases and i feel muddled and edgy. they have been an amazing gift to my sanity. may they be so for you as well. peace.