In my last post, I wrote about my drafty window and today the conversation continues. As I ponder the warm air seeping out my window, I'm reminded of Jesus' story when he felt his power leave him as the woman in need of healing touched his garment. He said, "Someone has touched me." Is this how I feel as I'm aware of others' pain? Does compassionate power flow out to meet others' needs? Do I offer it willingly or is it sucked out unknowingly? Is warm air drawn out with the draft or does cold air come pouring through the window? How does another's hurt blow through the crack in my heart?
Compassionate hearts are at risk of being drained of their own life. Sacrificial giving can end in death. So, today I ponder the balance between offering myself in service of others and protecting my warmth and health enough to have something left to give. It's like the leaky window. Do I want to plug the cracks so the cold can't get in? If I do, does this mean my warmth will no longer flow out?
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I've been grappling with the same sort of questions lately. It's been interesting to see that as I've moved out of personal drama and into a place of strength, all of a sudden people are coming out of the woodwork who want to talk about their own drama. It is definitely a tricky thing knowing where to draw the line with what I allow into my inner space. I really like your metaphor of the drafty window as a guiding image in pondering this.
Vulnerability - the cracks in our armor that allow the light of God to shine through.
polli - i was amazed how much this window is speaking to me. there was no wind and lots of sunshine today and i loved sitting in front of the window. hmmmm. i'll ponder that one a little more!
btw - do you live in taos? i'm coming to a writer's retreat there this summer :)
beautiful words, anon. wish i knew who you were :)
You're really coming here??? Cool! Is it for the Taos Summer Writers' Conference? You should definitely get in touch with me when you're here!
ah yes
why self-care is so important
re-charging the power cells :)
yes, polli - i'm really coming there!! i'm attending jennifer louden's writing retreat the last week of july :)
kel - i am finding the words "self-care" aren't appealing to many people... any thoughts on different language?
Your way of pondering, how it opens something up instead of nailing it down, is so powerful. I sense the process itself has something to say about the fine balance you raise here. Loverly.
thanks, betsy - your words reminded me of nailing a window shut. it's not very effective when we do that, is it? xo
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