I tried to ponder about Burma Shave... I really did. I even looked up Burma to see if that would inspire me. It's a republic in southeast Asia. How and why would an aftershave be named after that? Perhaps a little more pondering is in order, but frankly my dear, I don't give a hoot. I'm pushing pondering here and that's no fun for anyone. Methinks it's time to declare this enough. Sometimes pondering prefers to pass...
Diamonds in the Soul - helping high-functioning, under-living people recover and nourish personal delight & joy in life.
Diamonds in the Soul - helping high-functioning, under-living people recover and nourish personal delight & joy in life.
When do you know enough is enough? It’s a colossal dilemma for most Westerners. We set ridiculously high standards according to an elusive “they” who rattles around inside our heads. It’s a gigantic setup for failure, because “they” are never satisfied and continually remind us there are additional things to do, further places to visit, and masses of people to feed, clothe and save. Reaching for enough is overwhelming when listening to the unrelenting chatter. I know if I wait until everything is done in order to declare myself gratified, I’m setting myself up for an arduous and dissatisfying journey.
A smile, a word, a nod, a note can change another’s day or life. With little effort on our part we can offer the encouragement or reinforcement another may need. I would never have known this woman read my words unless she told me. How do people know we care if we don’t speak out? Forget the “they should know,” because chances are they don’t. We’ve become a world of wanna be mind readers and last time I checked, it wasn’t particularly effective. There’s no way I could have known where my words had reached without this friend declaring our connection.
At a time when my peers were "calling it good" and beginning to look toward retirement, I chose to pursue a fresh career and garnered my masters in counseling psychology. For the past several years my desire has been met (and continues to be) walking alongside others as they move toward their most authentic lives. In the spirit of refining and expanding, I have spent the past nine months immersed in further study of this passion and expertise. It has involved difficult choices, exciting risks and lots of hard work. It has been a wonderful time of fledging out and stepping more fully into my heart's desire.
Dragonfly Wisdom
Here I sit on my lava throne - balanced and true. A pointed edge tweaks my right buttock as the shadow of my hand follows me across the page. Tendrils of freshly washed hair, curl and mix with dark and light. Turquoise blue caresses my body and my skin glows with the exuberance of fresh air and sunshine. My soul has been wrapped too long in the cocoon of winter gray. The element of air beckons to be acknowledged. Earth and stone cradle my body. The heat of sun warms my skin as hungry eyes feast on the gift of water. Lily pads and water bugs dance lightly across the surface reminding me of play and rest. Waterfalls feed the pond offering the gift of movement that wards off stagnation similar to that of air within a home closed up too long.
I would not compare or judge and wonder if every mother were critical or if other offspring had experienced tragedy. I would reveal my own ugliness without apology and my beauty and pain without permission. I would share the whole journey. I would speak of becoming an enraged woman who screeched into the face of a child. I would become the little child, muted with the crook of a finger and silenced by a commanding nod. I would write of mythical experiences and struggles with spirituality. I would acknowledge my deep faith and abolish the voice of tyranny. All tales would have their place. Each thread of color and strand of reality would be welcomed at the table of my truth.
It was nearing the appointed time to retrieve Patience from the Pueblo where she'd been wandering for hours in the blazing desert sun. Departing the cafe, we were appalled to learn that the road toward our friend was closed for the afternoon to celebrate a fiesta. Tenacious and indefatigable women (but nonetheless in unfamiliar territory), we began to weave our way through backroads, hoping to find a way north. Happening upon a local officer, we were told Patience would simply have to wait. My guess is the officer swiftly and accurately read our eyes as he realized this was an unacceptable answer. Within moments our patron, the officer, had imbued us with a super secret escape route map for the city. What ensued was a wonderful adventure through backroads and vistas we never would have seen without the imposing roadblock. Dear Patience, of course, lived up to her name and was grateful to have friends who would not be deterred by a little bump in the road.
While visiting Taos one year on retreat, I was stunned as I walked down a gravel road one evening and Aslan met me on the lane. While the land in this environ is famous for it's magical qualities, I was nonetheless taken aback to see my little king strolling in the twilight. How in the world had my golden muse come to be here? The similarity was uncanny although the sparkle in this kitty's eye could not match my golden boy's brilliance. Stopping in my tracks, I took a deep breath and shook my head clear as I realized it was merely a feline twin... Or was it? Perhaps we need only invite our muses to come along wherever we go.
Nestling into my throne of stone, I settle back and allow the earth to hold me. "Can you open and close the gate of heaven without clinging to earth?" the Tao te Ching whispers in my ear. Here I rest, planted in an oasis where heaven meets earth. My self-proclaimed mermaid chair carved out of ebony rock graciously embraces my dreamlike form. Scottish trees wave and rise in the midst of this high desert plateau. Dragonflies chase and tease across the cerulean-blue pond. They swoop and veer dangerously near the large-mouth bass that lurks beneath. If not planted in this solid seat, I, too, would magically arise and join the dragonflies in their dance. Or swim through the depths waving my mermaid tail. Painted on the same canvas, butterfly wings and buzzing bees beckon me to follow their lead. Be. Be still. Be beautiful. Be me.
What are the boundaries of self-indulgence? Are personal actions overly indulgent if they inspire others to live more fully? What is your criteria for taking care of self, going on retreat, saying no to stifling obligations, or yes to life-giving opportunities? What inspires you? Consider the movies, books, or stories that tug at your heart or bring tears to your eyes. Do you long to be the bold singer on stage or a cloistered monk living in Tibet? Can you see yourself as a renowned chef or perhaps the lead cyclist on the Tour de France? Might you consider that these tugs of heart could lead you to your best life?
I remember a time when I felt like my world was imploding beyond repair. Drained and exhausted after a night’s painful vigilance, I lay spent in my bed unable to move from the sheer depth of sorrow. My house was empty except for the presence of my normally wandering cat, Larry. In his own vigilant way, Larry sensed my desperate need as he stayed by my side, consistently and willingly offering me glimpses of happiness with his fur and purr. Feeling his gentle touch, there came an instant when I couldn’t deny that I felt cared for and thus happiness arose for the briefest second.
What would it be like to invite trust into my day? To pose the question? To ponder what it means to trust and then to offer myself a response? Because I trust myself and the story that wants to carry me, today I will choose to live freely, without hindrance. I will be still when silence calls and when thoughts and details threaten with their hectic pace. I will be bold in paying attention and asking for what I need. I will not live in the shadow of others' expectations. I commit this day to feeling and believing what is true for me. I will remember the moments that make no sense to anyone else - like the encounter with the skywalker or my father coming to visit with a touch and a tear.
Diamonds in the Soul - helping high-functioning, under-living people uncover & maintain personal delight & joy in life.
There is an inspired line from a Billy Collins poem that speaks of devoted ants following him home from the woods one occasion. Sitting down with my own pen and paper, I began to ponder what had followed me home this day. It was a morning rife with unremarkable markedness. A glorious hike in the crisp morning air. Two stealth skunks crossing my path - their odorous aroma transmuting into flora. A sparkling sprinkler catching me delightfully by surprise. Engaging in the practice of getting lost and being found. Amazement and awe at the summer colors bursting and blooming. The ineffable beauty of compatriots surrounding me.
Diamonds in the Soul - helping high-functioning, under-living people uncover & maintain personal delight & joy in life.
Immersing myself in the ceramic tub devoid of water, a single drip escapes the faucet and startles me further awake as it lands on my bare toe. Feather-like pillows cushion my body and act as amniotic fluid in this man-made womb. Eventually my nighttime restlessness begins to lessen as I mold myself to the curved fixture designed specifically for holding the human form. (While showers have their own special kind of magic with their resemblance to rain pouring from the sky, there's nothing quite as nurturing as a tub.)
Diamonds in the Soul - helping high-functioning, under-living people uncover & maintain personal delight & joy in life.
When I was a little girl, I envisioned splendid images of God and his kingdom in the sky. I believed that if I squinted through my eyelashes and pretended I wasn’t looking that I could catch a glimpse of him floating by on a cloud, surrounded by white-winged angels. I would lie for hours in the fresh summer grass, staring up into the sky until I could feel the slow turning of the earth beneath me. In my child’s mind, I never quite caught that vivid peek of God, but as an adult I realize those were the moments a Higher Power was most fully present to me. In that dreamlike state where waking and sleep merge, when vision blurs and yet becomes crystal clear. The place of being held by the earth, gazing longingly into the sky and being completely content for timeless hours.
Diamonds in the Soul - helping high-functioning, under-living people uncover & maintain personal delight & joy in life.
Since it is an old brain, it is both sophisticated and naive in a very primitive way. My inner critic says things like Who do you think you are? No one will read this drivel! Stop while you’re ahead, fool. It doesn’t sound very helpful, does it? I want to shout back and name call, too, in a display of my own unevolved self. Experience, however, demonstrates that what we resist persists. Fighting, pushing, ignoring and shouting back – all feel like resistance to me. Perhaps a new tactic is in order. Pause. Breathe. Listen a little more closely.
Diamonds in the Soul - helping high-functioning, under-living people uncover & maintain personal delight & joy in life.
When I lift my eyes to the night heavens and my heart is tugged skyward, a world of infinite possibility surrounds me. The stars wrap around my soul like a satin scarf draped over exposed shoulders on a cool summer’s eve. My heart listens to the Big Dipper who speaks with a crystal voice announcing, Your cup runneth over. Yes, yours.
Diamonds in the Soul - helping high-functioning, under-living people uncover & maintain personal delight & joy in life.
I never recognized this until I arrived in places where I felt truly at home. I didn’t understand what had been missing until I found it. I am a woman of fire and heat. For some the Taos air is too thin and they cannot breathe. Me? I want to sink into this land and fold into the landscape. To infuse my skin with the red soil and bottle the dry air to carry home as a talisman for moist days.Diamonds in the Soul - helping high-functioning, under-living people uncover & maintain personal delight & joy in life.
No scissors. No knife. No stone sharp enough to cut the cord. Only my sheer will to release and let go. It was painful and at times seemed impossible. Pushing. Pulling. Tugging. Centimeter by centimeter I stretched it across my hand. Tiny blood blisters form on my wrist and no doubt bruises will follow. Millimeter by millimeter. I cease to battle, because it is inevitable the bracelet will stay in the center of this New Mexico labyrinth. How do we know when it’s time to let go? We know.Diamonds in the Soul - helping high-functioning, under-living people uncover & maintain personal delight & joy in life.
Earlier this same morning, a fellow ponderer asked me what I think the greatest challenge is that faces young adults today. My quick response? The fact that they are young. They have the world before them and have not yet gathered the experience of longevity. It is both gift and rival. I believe, the greatest challenge (and one not exclusive to youth) is to find authentic voice and pave paths of our own truth. To live unfettered lives that bring freedom versus imprisonment. To unselfishly and unabashedly stand for who we are. Life's challenge is to sort through the history the elders have bequeathed us - emotionally, spiritually, and economically. To find personal choice while sifting through peer pressure and the voice of the inner critic.Diamonds in the Soul - helping high-functioning, under-living people uncover & maintain personal delight & joy in life.
One of my greatest joys in life is going on retreat - setting aside time in this busy life and unplugging from daily distractions and obligations. Upon returning from one luxurious week, a dear friend inquired as to how I re-enter life after being away. It's a provocative question and one I can only answer for myself. I imagine others may ponder this same thought. I've consistently noticed that few people choose to take time for themselves and even fewer know how to integrate the gift once they return. Some find it impossible and others don't even try. Wouldn't it be wonderful to engage in a life where each day felt as comfortable as a retreat?Diamonds in the Soul - helping high-functioning, under-living people uncover & maintain personal delight & joy in life.
The lexicon of our modern day insists that one must leave home, go away, and/or spend lots of money to officially be on retreat. This is bothersome to me, because what happens to people with no accrued vacation time or resources to afford an expensive spa? Methinks, it's time to change our thinking. In my book, daily life is totally accessible as an ongoing retreat center. It's a place where at any moment in time we have the ability to take a pause and seek shelter from our thoughts, or seclusion from our surroundings. If we can change our thinking, we can change our mood. If we can allow ourselves to withdraw from narrow definitions and expand our notion of "retreat", life becomes a playground.Diamonds in the Soul - helping high-functioning, under-living people uncover & maintain personal delight & joy in life.
When Pigs Fly
Pedrita gazed upward into the night sky, pondering the question: When will I ever learn to fly? Her nights were dream-filled while her days were spent in the barnyard surrounded by fellow swine. The others passed their hours trudging back and forth between feed trough and mud pit. They slogged through the days mimicking perfect barnyard behavior infused with virtually no enthusiasm.
Pedrita, however, knew she was destined for more. Instead of snarfing down her slop, she would pause and be curious about where her meal had been before. Whose leftovers was she sharing? Did the grains come from the field over there? Was her mother gluten intolerant? Is that why she's so cranky? Pedrita spent her waking hours pondering and pondering and even though the other animals made fun of her and called her whacky, she offered them kindness and gentleness rather than matching their derision.
Every night she would gaze into the heavens and imagine herself floating among the stars. She could see herself reflected in the constellations and knew she was special and shiny. She tried to tell her friends about the magic night sky, but they were more concerned about the next meal and what everyone else was doing. Ped, however, would not be dissuaded. She continued to dream her dreams and wish upon the glowing stars. She saw beauty in everything and offered compassion unceasingly, even to the piglets who laughed at her wistfulness. Nothing could deter her from reaching for the stars.
Each evening while standing under the moonlit sky, she offered compassion to the whole world - especially the parts she didn't understand. She sincerely believed we are all made of stars, and as she nurtured this belief something gradually changed within her. Her heart sprouted wings and under the winds of generous compassion, one night she defied gravity and rose to join the twinkling lights of the sky.
She quit trying to convince others to change and went about her days seeing her mates perfect as they were with all their slogging and slopping. By day, she was a simple swine reaching out to others through curiosity and kindness. Little did they know, however, that through these daily actions she nurtured the incredible lightness of being that carried her, Pedrita the pig, soaring through the starlit nights.
Inspired by Pedro's prompt: When will pigs fly? And will we fly alongside them...
kauai pigs © h3images
Prizes for you... Inspiration for me... Check it out!!!
Diamonds in the Soul - helping high-functioning, under-living people uncover & maintain personal delight & joy in life.
Today I will begin with openness. I will play with these crazy thoughts and nonsensical experiences that flow through my mind as I awaken this day. I will be adventuresome and see where the ideas invite me to go. I will be like a child on summer vacation allowing myself to move through my list of desires and needs with playful abandon and an open heart. When things cease to become play I will stop and breathe.
I will remember the wholeness of delight and joy that comes when I declare myself "Enough." To stand in my own power and desire brings richness to my life. The words shift and form until they announce "I am fully alive." I am created to play and my life is not about work.
Today I will begin with the nonsensical and allow myself to not make sense of it all for this would be an exercise in futility. I will begin this day with openness, pleasure and curiosity. I will invite play into my moments. I will allow my words to flow like water and dare to travel to the place that others resist. Today I will begin with me.
Prizes for you... Inspiration for me... Check it out!!!
Diamonds in the Soul - helping high-functioning, under-living people uncover & maintain personal delight & joy in life.
Today I return refreshed, renewed and inspired after unplugging and luxuriating in a solid week of pure heaven. No cell phones, internet, or Facebook. No meals to cook or beds to make. Dancing in the morning. Writing in the afternoon. Laughing and strolling through the warm summer evenings. A gentle schedule provided with the encouragement to ask the question moment by moment: What do I want? This beauty was enhanced by the surrounding wisdom and spirit of 30 vast, varied and like-minded souls as we found ourselves tucked into the high desert of Taos, New Mexico residing in a retreat center that has nurtured such greats as Georgia O’Keefe, Ansel Adams, Natalie Goldberg and Jennifer Louden.
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