Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Pondering... 30 in 30 - Day 15

Happiness feels a lot like sorrow.

In the depth of our being, that place where our truest selves unite and intersect, where we experience feelings most deeply, happiness and sorrow reside together. The place of weeping for joy and laughing while our hearts are broken. Yes, happiness feels a lot like sorrow. Open-hearted. Feeling feelings. Not holding back or shying down. Sorrow seeps into the crevasses of the heart and happiness does too.

I remember a time when I felt like my world was imploding beyond repair. Drained and exhausted after a night’s painful vigilance, I lay spent in my bed unable to move from the sheer depth of sorrow. My house was empty except for the presence of my normally wandering cat, Larry. In his own vigilant way, Larry sensed my desperate need as he stayed by my side, consistently and willingly offering me glimpses of happiness with his fur and purr. Feeling his gentle touch, there came an instant when I couldn’t deny that I felt cared for and thus happiness arose for the briefest second.

Happiness and sorrow demand both tenderness and strength. To be happy when the world is falling apart takes courage untold. To weep in awe at the magnitude of life’s minutiae (like a cat’s purr) takes willingness from within. Happiness feels a lot like sorrow. Uncontainable. Overflowing. Tears. Laughter. Filled emotion. They blend and turn and tumble together like fresh clothes spinning in a dryer, everything with its distinct shade of color and loss. Full, felt emotions. Clean, not dirty. Clear and unclouded. They cartwheel and blend together. Happiness feels a lot like sorrow.

Today's ponder prompted by Amie D.

Diamonds in the Soul - helping high-functioning, under-living people recover and nourish personal delight & joy in life.

1 comment:

Underneath_the_Surface said...

Beautiful! Yes! Happiness feels a lot like sorrow, you can't make it come and go... The laundry painted a perfect picture in my mind... Beautiful!