Wednesday, October 22, 2008

meeting liberty

It is a picture perfect fall day here in the Pacific Northwest. The sun is shining. The leaves are just starting to turn and the air has that wonderful little nip to it. Over the past several months I have turned into a “destination” walker which means I am usually on my way to an appointment or errand during my morning stroll. This morning it was a visit to the chiropractor. I realized as I walked that I have been avoiding my camera lately—ever since I requested and received Photoshop Elements for my birthday.

This morning, however, I decided to push past my hesitancy and take some photos with the hope of spending time immersed in learning at least how to crop and tune my photos up a bit. Alas, the camera rebelled and the battery died in the midst of the very first photo. So, I was left with only my photographic memory to capture the details of the day.

On my return home, I found myself walking through the park behind an older gentlemen and his golden retriever. I picked up the pace to catch up with them, because I cannot bypass the opportunity to receive a little “golden” love since the death of Curry. My selfish tendencies were in high gear and this was all about me getting what I needed this morning.

I politely asked if I could love on his dog for a minute and then felt like I had come face to face with the reincarnation of my old sweet guy. “He’s thirteen,” the owner announced. A lump in my throat, I confessed that we had just lost our 13-year-old golden. What ensued was a gentle and kind retelling of the last days and moments of Curry’s life. The owner asked me questions like “How did you know when it was time?” “Was it peaceful?” “Did he suffer?” Somewhere in the conversation, I realized that this moment was not just for me. Liberty’s (the dog) owner was entering his own process of letting go and had needed some reassurance that they would get through it. I am so grateful I was there to be that reassurance.

Much of this meeting reminds me of my recent post, “life cycles.” There was something in this encounter that spoke deeply of emptying and filling. I have not decided yet how the process transpired. Who was filled and who was emptied? Does it even matter? What I do know is that I followed my heart seeking what I needed in the moment to help me with my own grieving process and in the midst I met another person who had his own sorrow to share. Oddly, both of us walked away comforted. I will remember Liberty and his owner for quite some time. At first site Liberty appeared to be the ghost of Curry, but now I am pretty sure he was an angel. Dang, I wish I had my camera! ☺

13 comments:

Sue said...

"What I do know is that I followed my heart seeking what I needed in the moment to help me with my own grieving process and in the midst I met another person who had his own sorrow to share."

+++++++++

Lovely :) Which is a much better way of looking at it than being "selfish" :)

Luvverly post.

Anonymous said...

yes, beautiful post lucy. sometimes even our most selfish moments can be transformed by something much bigger. xoxo C

Dianna Woolley said...

"the emptying and filling" - big part of our Renovare discussion yesterday. Emptying with no anticipation or expectation of what will come to fill the space is a rather brave act.....I'm not sure that I've launched a real emptying action in a long time, I don' know.

xoxo

Kayce aka lucy said...

sue--nice to see you!

C--transformation comes in the most interesting ways and places!!

SS--great words!! sounds like you may be emptying a few closets soon if not already :-) xoxoox

Unknown said...

What a gorgeous post! I have a 14 year old pug and am at the place of learning to let go and listen. This post let me know I am in the right place and things as they appear are usually not as they are.
Thank you Lucy for the reminder!
xo G

Kayce aka lucy said...

thank you, G...it seems there are more than a few of us who need these little reminders :-)

Karen said...

I must confess to some teary-eyed sniffling...so beautiful...EXACTLY what you both needed...

Anonymous said...

And what a big beautiful heart you have Lucy, thanks for being here. I too am teared up in a very grateful, heartfelt way....off to love up my doggy now, thanks

Kayce aka lucy said...

karen & patty--it was really interesting because as i talked with the gentleman, i felt so calm and at peace. it was only until i walked away that my own tears started to bubble up and i felt the grief once again. boy, i sure miss that dog!!!

Les (Endlessly Restless) said...

Really nice post (I'm still catching up - very slowly). Two completely separate thoughts.

Elements is worth wrestling with, althoug I'm still paddling around in the shallows with it.

Secondly, i wonder if sometimes it's better not to have a camera (yes,I recognise the hypocrisy in my own words). But sometimes the memory is more precious that the image?

Kayce aka lucy said...

ER--thank you for both streams of thought. i hadn't realized until you commented how much i was hoping for comments to that effect.

i will continue wrestling with elements. (i tried a little this morning). and i agree that often the memory is more precious than the image especially if i pen a few words to jog that memory :-)

nice to "see" you!

Ted Marshall said...

I lost my beloved cat Jess last Sunday very suddenly. I wasn't ready to let go, but it turns out she was. I hope Curry doesn't chase her up in animal heaven!!

Kayce aka lucy said...

tess--i am so sorry to hear of jess' loss. i doubt that curry will be doing any chasing, but he might be up for a little cuddling if jess is up for it. we had a pet rabbit for awhile and the two of them used to snuggle together in the kitchen. go figure!??!?!?