"The self is a calm stable center surrounded by a continuous changing sea. Merge with yourself and be ready for any emergent sea." Coretta Scott KingWise ones tell us to be true to ourselves. Being true to ourselves means daring to disagree with a loved one, even when we know it might cause painful tension. It means refusing to go along with the group's plans if our values are being ignored. It means standing alone, if necessary, in our family of origin if their expectations of us no longer nurture our growth. --from "A Woman's Spirit" by Karen Casey
"It is the only thing we can do...I see no alternative; each of us must turn inward and destroy in himself all that he thinks he ought to destroy in others. and remember that every atom of hatred we add to the world makes it still more inhospitable." (written by Etty Hillesum, a woman who ultimately died in Auschwitz...found in Jan Richardson's "Garden of Hollows.")
BlissChick's post, "Does enlightenment mean I'll never be pissed?"
Anger. Forgiveness. Standing up for myself. Personal Value.
I invite you to ponder along with me!
rodin's "thinker" - paris 3.08
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6 comments:
Lucy! Hello! I had to stop by -- especially after I saw that you are working on the whole anger/forgiveness thing, too and tell you about this AMAZING, MIND-BLOWING book I am reading today while I sit outside under some much needed (and temporary) warm sun. :)
It's pretty new, and so far, I'm only in chapter two, but WOW. These guys are (again, so far...) hitting the nail on the head!
Here's the amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/Jesus-Wants-Save-Christians-Manifesto/dp/0310275024
Reading their reading of Christ...it makes me almost want to cry. I feel like, yes! I am NOT crazy! There ARE people out there who think it's all about love and peace and they have the scholarly backgrounds to prove their thesis.
Dear Blisschick,
Not some, but many out there. In fact, about two thousand years worth of us.
CP
Lucy,
I've been pondering the be true to your self thing. There are some selfs out there who, being true to themselves, do serious damage to themselves, others and society. I wonder if that old aphorism is just a teaser for something much deeper having to do with a self that is well grounded in that which is good.
CP
A calm stable centre. But sometimes we cannot find it.
CP: On the self thing, perhaps you're right, but surely these people are not going deep enough in being true. I think they are being true to a false, damaged self. And in doing so certainly they can cause terrible damage. Isn't it around the question of discernment?
Pondering mode - ON: I'm with Coretta. Although I might say merging with oneself and be ready for any emergent sea should be turned around to say "and be ready for an emergent self as extraordinary as the sea."
My pondering on the Karen Casey quote - Being true to ourselves for me does mean daring to disagree with a loved one - but for me only a loved one I trusted loved me with the same devotion I do them - and then I personally would not consider "painful" tension, painful tension feels to me as though it disregards relationship and only values self,so tension but not purposeful painful tension.
Going along with groups that ignore my values as a human being - I've never had difficulty living that one....or in disagreeing and/or leaving the group.
And as far as standing alone re family of origin when their expectations of me no longer nurture our growth? My family of origin's expectations were that I should marry, have children, and live happily ever after - I believe that was all the growth they really expected, so I guess you might say I believe that standing alone is necessary when you see more for yourself than your family sees for you - it doesn't mean I would or did give up my family nor blame them for their lack of vision for my potential; my potential growth was beyond their life's experiences and therefore nothing they ever imagined for my growth could compare to what I've experience or expected for myself.
Etty Hillesum - absolutely a brilliant statement! I would further her statement with my own understanding of my discipleship responsibility in this world, in that every atom of love we add to the world makes it still more hospitable!
And you've probably already seen my note on Blisschick - but in answer to that last question - no.
I'm glad you didn't limit my pondering to 25 words or less:) You might have wished you had.
xoxoxox
blisschick-- first, i am entirely jealous that you had enough warmth and sunshine to be outside reading! second, thank you for the book recommendation. i have seen video of rob bell and appreciated his voice. i will take a peak at this new book. thanks for the recommendation.
CP--you are a great cheerleader for 2000 years of religion, unfortunately it feels like hate and fear has overshadowed many of the many. sadly, there are lots who speak from personal experience which leads to the second part of your comment...and i think TESS responded well.
Tess (&CP)if our true love-centered self is mistaken for or misplaced by a fear-based false self, then yes, being true to that could indeed be damaging. discernment is key to understanding it all. sometimes it's hard for us to even get to the point where we know that we require discernment and that we don't know everything already.
oh my, it's quite an interesting cycle and journey. it would be so much easier if...i can't even finish that, because as humans i imagine we would still find a way to make things hard!
glad to have you pondering along!
SS--love your addition to coretta's words!
re: painful tension with loved one's...i don't see it has being intentionally harmful, but sometimes we have to say things that might not sit well for a little bit (and thus feel painful), but with true love things seem to come around pretty quickly in my humble opinion...
i am recently pondering what is it like to be with a group who does not value what i have to offer which is slightly different from not having the same values. we have the same values, but perhaps not the same mission for me which is a little more challenging than walking away from a group with opposing values (which i have done).
hmmmm....i think i can relate to your family of origin :-)
great addition to etty's statement. keep adding that love into the world - atom by atom!! i, too, believe it changes things.
sending you lots of love!!! xoxooxox
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