I Choose Life

Words from my journal--June, 2005:

I would love to spend another night out here and I realize/I KNOW that it would not be the same without the day. We need both--the bitter and the sweet (the dark and the light). When we have gone to hell and seen it, felt it, lived it--life is much sweeter just as the night's cool and calm contrasts to the heat and chaos of the day. Both/And. The whole package.

They will come in gradations but we need both. The fears will keep me running and reaching for life, lest I ever take life for granted. The bitter and the sweet. The swing of the pendulum. I may never know how far it needs to go to the dark side and often I don't have a choice especially where circumstances are out of my control. But, I can choose for myself how and where I go.

Will I covet and grovel in the pain and fear and anger and self-pity, etc. as I did yesterday? Or will I patiently wait and trust that the cool of the night will come? The heat is turning up as the sun is rising. How will I choose to stay cool?

I Choose Life!