"Why didn't I see this before? That my creative life is my deepest prayer. That I must pray it from my heart, from my soul. Not from my head or my need for security or approval or to gain some sort of repute. I must write from the Self. The deep true place." --Sue Monk KiddThe sky is on fire this morning. The orange ball has exploded and spread a wash of pink, orange, red and yellow across the fall sky. I cannot capture it with my camera. Can my eye hold the image? Can my words? So ethereal—slipping through my fingers. I want to hold it, touch it, capture it, roll around and bathe in it naked to find myself washed with the colors of the roses. Fragrant and sweet. A pleasing aroma to God.
Whole. Pure. Naked. Blossoming. My body is filled with desire for this feminine being. She has spread the colors through the heavens. Who else could yield the paintbrush so lavishly? It feels erotic and exotic—washing, spreading, bursting, filling the sky with gentle and bold colors. Both. Both/and. Gentle and bold. Tender and strong. The images of God. How can we hold that God is only male or female? How can we hold that God is anything we can name? Anything we can “hold?”
The image of the sky brings me alive. Washes away the pain in my head and arm. I am slipping. Moving back into my body. For a moment or two I was gone. I was one with the sky. The pen and paper. The world. One with God. More me than the moment before and the moment after. The glimpses of heaven. The shout of purity. The paradox. The both/and. The beauty of God. How can we say he or she? Why must we define? What is our need to categorize? Good. Evil. Right. Wrong. Both/and. Perhaps they just are. Who am I to say?
The sky is on fire this morning and of course it is not.
photo by lucy 10.09.07
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11 comments:
Ah Lucy, I think you're on fire today, not just the sky.
The both/and - that's the phrase that really caught me.
Thank you for this beautiful writing.
(I have the Sue Monk Kidd on order from Amazon but we have a postal strike in the UK, and although things are getting through by other methods, they're slow. I CAN'T WAIT!!)
Beautiful photo!
.....the arm, I note the pain in the arm is back(?) with us...never left us, I believe I missed a doctor's note regarding this injury/pain??? SS
lucy, I saw the magical sky too this morning on my way to the ferry to my little cottage. I also experienced that divine fire of she who encompasses all things. Thanks for your words this morning and for connecting me again to this vibrant vision.
I love reading your meditations, Lucy. And this was great.
Yes, the need to categorise, to define, to hold that which is uncategorisable - such a human, agorophobic need, and so boring, really :) I'm always glad when I push off from the shore ... and then realise an hour later I've returned back there again.
But it's a process, a process, a slow process of falling. I'm so glad that God is God - whatever that is ;)
thank you, ladies for your comments. i always enjoy hearing what resonates with you.
ss--the pain in the arm leaves occasionally and only very briefly. i did see my m.d. and went to physical therapy for awhile. it is bicepital tendonitis...whatever.
it is interesting to me with all of those words that the arm is what you chose to comment on... :-)
Beautiful words, beautiful image. I am reading this at the end of a day when I did not see the sun.
This morning here in Oklahoma the sky is just starting to lighten out my office window. Certainly not on fire but with the edges red maybe on simmer. Loved your post and reading it certainly made me more aware, in the now, and certainly more appreciative of what's happening outside my window this morning. What a gift. Thank You. Love, Pamela
elaine and pamela--
glad to bring a little sunshine your way!
I spotted the pain because I read ALL your words not just the profound ones. Sometimes the seemingly not so profound are more, or as, profound as the seemingly profound:)
SS
Ah, Tess wrote my feelings exactly-YOU ARE the one on fire, my dear!
Lucy,
The Dream & Tess reflect the truth of the fire within you in their comments. Such inspiration and authenticity! I think I need to read this book by Sue Monk Kidd who knows my heart so profoundly.
My response to your amazing photo is paradoxical ... for I've observed the natural wonder of the sun rising and falling ... but memory of the recent fires in Southern California so close to home taint those images for me. Both/and ... not either/or. Yes!
Hugs and blessings,
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